URGENT: A friend of mine is displaying severe depression, possibly suicidal. Nee!


Question: URGENT: A friend of mine is displaying severe depression, possibly suicidal. Need help and advice please.?
I have a friend of mine who is 12/13 years old who goes to my school and is displaying symptoms of severe clinical depression. I myself am sixteen and have suffered from depression myself for a minimum period of five years, and suffered symptoms to closer to the adult strain. But I digress, in short, please assume that I know what I'm talking about. I ask you to please not consider my age, or that I might be over-reacting or any of that, this guy needs help right now.

My friend has been displaying all the symptoms to a severe level; extreme mood swings, introversion, self-destructive acts, low self-esteem, negative comments et cetera. In recent months he has talked about suicide, and regually remarks on life and death. He has started talking about a particualr date in this month, which re refuses to say what it is, but regually comments on it. I have no idea what he is planning, but he has started handing out personal effects and leaving notes to his friends et cetera. I have genuine reason to belive that he may be considering suicide, he has told me he has attempted it once before, but I can not verify this.

He is very young, and I believe he suffers from Asperger's Syndrome.

I've been to talk to my senior teachers at my school, along with other friends and a professional counsellor. He has been reffered to a counsellor immediately, and his parents are being contacted. After telling the deputy head my thoughts, she is taking action, so I hope this underlines the gravity of the situation, and is not some fantastical delusion on my part.

In the meantime, I have been asked to talk to him and bring him to the counsellor in school in a couple of hours time. I haven't had much contact with him recently, and I need your advice as to how to approach him, what to say and how to respond. He has confided greatly in me in the past, more so than anyone else to the best of my knowledge. I can definetley say that I am ou tof my depth, and I implore you to please give any advice that you can.

Thank you for reading this.

Answers:

Extract a promise not to do anything irreversible without contacting you first. ~~~
"How to help someone who is suicidal,
Taken from the Samaritans in Boston,
Listen:
If you know someone who might be thinking about suicide, you can help them first just by listening. Very often, people who think suicide is a choice for them feel like they have no other options, like they have no control over their lives, and that no one cares about them. Listening to someone can:
-show that you care
-give them a greater feeling of control
-help them feel connected to someone else
Here are some do's and don'ts for being a good listener:
DO
-give the person all of your attention
-tell him or her that you care and that you are glad they are talking to you
-ask questions that help you to better understand how she or he is feeling
DON'T:
-try to solve the person's problems
-give advice that wasn't asked for
-say that the person's actions or feelings are wrong or unimportant
-tell the person about your own problems

Ask
Asking about suicide can be scary and hard, but it is very important. It is the only way to find out how much danger someone is in. It also lets the person you're concerned about know that you're a safe person to talk to. Many people are afraid to talk about suicide. They fear that others will react with blame, fear, panic, or guilt. But it is often a great relief to someone thinking about suicide to know that you have noticed their pain. And although many people don't believe this, asking about suicide will NOT suggest the idea to someone or encourage someone to kill themselves.

After you have listened for a while, ask the person you're concerned about if she or he is thinking about suicide. Here's how to ask:

Ask the question directly.
"Do you sometimes feel so bad that you think of suicide?"
"It sounds like things are pretty rough right now, and I'm concerned about you. Are you thinking about killing yourself?"

If the answer is "yes":
Stay calm. Even if this makes you feel scared or mad, don't let it show. Keep listening and letting the person know that you care.
Ask her or him:
"Have you thought about how you might do it?" (Is there a plan?)
"Do you already have that? Can you get it?" (Are the means (gun, pills) available?)
"Have you decided when you will do this? Do you know where?" (Has a time and place been set?)

If the answer to all of these questions is "Yes", there is a good chance the person will attempt suicide. But even if there is no plan, get help.

If the answer is "no":
Keep listening. Don't tell the person you're glad or relieved that they're not thinking about it - their feelings may change, and then they will feel uncomfortable talking to you.

Get Help". ~~~

I strongly suggest that you view the rest of the above at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_3.html Emotional thought stopping is addressed on page Y. Depression is addressed on pages 3, & B. Provide a list of suicide hotlines. EMAIL:
Ask4help@yellowribbon.org Phone: 303 429 3530 www.yellowribbon.org/ or: jo@samaritans.org (up to 24 hr delay to reply) web address: www.samaritans.org/ (202 branches, in North America, the British isles, Australia, New Zealand, and Hong Kong). At www.befrienders.org/support/index.asp?Pa… there are email addresses for around 30 countries, in 22 languages.



he should talk to someone he trusts



He is fortunate to have a friend like you. It looks like you have done pretty much everything you can to help this kid and again he is luck to have you in his life. Just keep on doing what you are doing. It does seem that he is exhibiting characteristics of someone who is thinking a lot about suicide or is actively planning it. Keep letting him know you care about him and remind him that his life has great value. Tell him that the challenges he is facing will change, perhaps quickly and he just has to stay strong and wait it out. He has a long life ahead of him. Looking back at out lives we often, if not always, realize that those dark and confusing times in our life were the times that we grew and learned a lot. Those tough times make you stronger and more resilient. Most important, pray for him. There is unbelievable power in prayer and God is just waiting to be asked for help, as He loves helping his children. You are doing a very good thing in helping this young guy. Keep on being there for him and if he all of a sudden seems to be cheerful and at peace, watch him like a hawk because this is often a sign that he has decided to suicide. Contact the authorities at this point and do what you have to do to get him help. You are tops for helping him! Stay strong, PRAY, stay alert.
Wishing you and he stay well and happier. Peace.



you need to talk to him *****NOW**** explain to him how important he is to you and if he continues on his path you need to get help for him
trust me i know from personal experience DO NOT WAIT



Try getting him to talk to a counsler just for an evaluation if that doesn't work sit down and talk with him about how he's feeling and why he thinks he's feeling that way. Comfort him in any way possible and if it gets any worse talk to his parents and tell them what you're thinking and see if they can help.

experience




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