How to deal with feeling depressed over family death?!


Question: How to deal with feeling depressed over family death?
My parents both died when I was a child, a few years apart, from terminal illess (cancer/heart disease).
So by the time I was 16, I was orphaned and being taken care of by an older sister who is a horrible
person. Only weeks after our mom died, she moved her gross fiancee into our parents' home, and
after I went to college, he drained a lot of money that was being held in trust for me by my sister; and
she allowed it! Now I'm in my twenties and have been feeling very depressed, and missing my parents,
who were very warm, caring people. I feel like life has been constantly screwing me in every kind of
way imaginable; even with little things; I had braces when I was young but my orthodontist screwed them up and now any money I had to fix all this crap is gone. I feel like I can't connect with anyone due to
all of this trauma. Not sure how to fix things.

Answers:

Hi!
Yes, life has not been the best for u but put it in prospective & consider what others have gone through or ARE going through. Look @ Japan @ this moment or even Haiti after all this time! Also Consider the people in your city that are homeless. There is nothing that needs "fixing". Just a little change in perspective. U r very fortunate to have life & all your limbs, youth & a lifetime ahead of u. U have a college background & the ability to work plus U CAN change ur HISTORY! Make-It-Happen NOW! Take tiny tiny steps that will help u towards great leaps!

Some tiny steps:
The TRUST FUND... contact a lawyer over the phone & get a free consult, then u will at least know where that stands. When u get all ur info & if u want to move forward, ask if they are taking any PRO BONO cases or know of any attorneys that r & u will get representation for free!

The TEETH... sweetie, u live in this GREAT U.S. of A., be resourceful, call your local health clinic, dentistry schools, private Dental office & local Hospitals or the County Hospital & explain the situation to them... u don't have money but your teeth bother u. Write a your situation & pitch it to these sources. Ask if u can get free care or at least minimal instalment plans. Ask them to kindly suggest alternatives for ur situation.

The SISTER...She may have been rotten but u are lucky u did not get moved around from foster home to foster home with people u did not know. Consider that she had no experience as a parent, much less to a teenager, I can't image she was that much older than u. Ur now 20+, an adult & u can decide to keep her or anyone in ur life or not. For ur mental & physical health, I would say, forgive her in ur heart even if u cannot verbally tell her u did. If being around her hurts too much right now, ok, give urself some space but work on letting go of past hurts. It is ur past, u learned to be a better person by it, don't let it keep ruining ur present or future. There is MORE to lose by carrying caustic feelings towards anyone than what u will gain by NOT moving on. Besides, while u r steeping in bad memories, the protagonist live on obliviously & without revisiting old wounds... u CAN & SHOULD do the same!
The PARENTS: Tragic & traumatic how they passed on. U were just a teen going through all the hormone changes & emotions that being a teen entails, add on the disease of ur parents & ultimate consequence there of. Understandably, u may still have emotions that need to be dealt with. When contacting the hospitals about the dental issues, also inquire about mental health. Public health should have this counseling available. On the other hand, it may just be a matter of time, people all over the world lose their parents under so many horrific circumstances & end up as orphans. Others get abused or exploited but they overcome this. Many have gone on to become famous, win Nobel's, become rich, & others endeavour to make changes for humanity. I encourage u to research some of these people online & get inspired & uplifted by their stories of courage, determination, hope & the faith that tomorrow WILL be a better day.

It is said that the mind should never be idle because it allows demons & lies to creep in.
Keep ur mind busy, join a college or young adults group at ur local church, participate in charities & habitat for humanity with them. Join a cause & give it all u got. Help out @ an after school program, teach someone to read. U know what it feels like to lose both parents & be an orphan, why not use ur background to help children that are now going through the same, you may be surprised to find your healing while u help others find theirs so become a big sister to someone. Help @ a Senior Home, too many lonely seniors have so much love to share @ no one to share it with. In giving more of yourself u will find the reward of getting more FOR urself, more love, warmth & appreciation from others.
PRAY! God is the only one that can "FIX" Anything! He loves u, & cares for u. I believe that God HAS been watching & caring for u all this time. Things could have been better but they could also have been worse for u. Some may seem to have more than others but ur life is just beginning, there is soooo much more u can have. what do u want? what is ur purpose? The life we have is not meant by GOD to be only about "ME" and what "I" want. We are here as a global community, God intends for us to make a difference for others first. I am here replying to your question because I hope that through these key strokes God will deliver a message hope to you. Ur HIS EXCELLENT creation & He made a promise to u, it is in Jeremiah 29:11-13. Google it. When u become a member of a church, they can help u with many of the issues we have been talking about. I wish u the best. Don't lose hope, if you lose hope you've lost it all.
Hugs & CHEERS! Soly... u can contact my at: www.SolyCali.etsy.com



Your sister's fiancé pretty much stole from you, so if I were you, I would talk to a lawyer about getting that money back. Surely your family lawyer would be able to help you there?

And also, if you have other relatives, why not go connect with them? Chances are they will be delighted to know you.



Life isn't always fair Dear! Death is very hard to deal with esp. when u were close to ur parents. But now is the time to heal and move forward. If this means having a consult with a shrink then do it. Remember, U r now an adult and u r held responsible for ur actions. U can rise above all of those things. GOOD LUCK!



well life screwed ya,get over it ;;d i mean just forget it and move on ;;p



sue sue sue




The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories