Help please! Please read the whole way through and help :(?!


Question: Help please! Please read the whole way through and help :(?
Okey, so I'm soooo freaking depressed its not even funny. So when i was about five my principal died and while they asked for a moment of silence this one girl was crying and I said oh come on, and then the teacher didnt know it was me but said whoever said that that was very rude. I didn't think much of it then but now it comes back to me and I feel terrible. I feel like i disrepected her, also this boy was getting on my nerves a while ago so i beat him up :( I feel terrible about it now becuz he's quiet all the time and I can't remember if its from me or not and I feel dispicable. I plan to apologize I really do but I need courage. Also with this other kid i was mean to him ( speech wise) and I said mean things becuz it was the thing like last year for the oh I'ma cook you up and whatnot :( I feel terrible about it now becuz the kid hates me and doesn't want anything to do with me. I wrote him a note but i haven't given it to him yet. I'm worried that they might die for some reason soon and I hate it :( and I've done bad things like cussed and masturbated to gay porn (I've stopped) and been mean and never done anything like killed, or anything. I'm highly religious and I try my best as a 12 year old to stay nice all my life. I've prayed to God to guide me and help me and accept me and everything and it seemed to work but then this depression hits me, because i worry alot. I try to stay positive but sometimes I wish I wasn't alive, if I died then people would be sad, but it just get so terrible sometimes I just can't help it...Also when i was 11 these boys came over to my friends house and started touchin me and everything (younger then me mind you) and I jus sort of ran, so then everytime i would go down they would touch my butt and everything :( I feel so violated and even though they did that and everything I worry theyre mad at me!! I worry and worry and worry! I was chasing this kid who touched me on his bike down a hill and he slipped and had to go to the hospital :( I feel absolutely terrible :\ I'm thinking about running away now, get away and then maybe they'd care....I really need help reallly i do, i feel terrible rite now, really you have no idea how terrible i feel, about that kid, and those boys, and those guys i was mean to and my principal. Please I need some advice, help, prayers, anything ! :(

Answers:

start of by doing something other then sitting on your but and praying to god to fix your problems. The only one who is gonna make any difference is you. If you feel so bad, do something. the only thing that will set you free is forgivness. All those people your worried about. It would do them very well to hear an apology from you. You would be suprised at the power of those words. go out and make amends.
Your young. Your still learning. Your still growing. Don't beat yourself up over little things. Do something about it. The journey of recovery begins with forgivness.



You were young...you hav to forgive and forget...and in this ccase it is forgiving yourself



i think this is just a bunch of B/S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! where does a child of 12yrs get gay porno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!plus when u were 11yrs,, all these younger boys were touching u ... u r so full of B/S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…




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