How to stop over-analyzing this situation?!


Question: How to stop over-analyzing this situation?
I am 20 and for some reason my brain does not think I am a virgin. Physically, I still have my hymen intact. My ex said that I am a virgin and he is one as well as we did not have sex. This was two months ago. Around that same time we had a conversation online via skype and I asked him: "Is it bad that I want to lose my virginity to you?" The thing is is that after that conversation, I did not see him again. Its pathetic because a couple of weeks ago I knew I was a virgin and it is impossible for me to not be a virgin because I did not see him after that skype conversation.My mind is screwing me over and thinking: "No, you are not a virgin anymore". Its like my mind does not trust what I said to my ex in that skype conversation about me asking if its bad that I want to lose it to him. Its like my mind thinks what I said was a lie. This is making me over-analyze all the conversations and everything I said. This is ruining my life. I cant seem to calm down. What can I do? How do I stop this madness?

Answers:

Let's review what you've said.

The facts are these: You have never had sex with a man and you are for all intents and purposes a virgin.
Now virginity means something to you and this state of being is very important to you, somehow.
Combine this with the fact that you have actually thought about having sex with your ex and you told him so...and so this shows that you were comfortable with the idea and you were exploring it with him.
But after that conversation, you did not see him again. And so he cut off all communication with you? How odd! Obviously he was scared of what you asked him. It confused him and upset him pretty bad and you have to ask yourself why was his reaction so dramatic? All you wanted to do was talk about this and instead it scared him to death....why?
And perhaps the fact that you were at least ready to talk about it and you are an adult and you had a serious relationship with your ex meant, in your mind, that you were ready to consider having an adult sexual relationship with him. But his response was odd. And obviously it was not the kind of response you were expecting...nor would anyone expect. And you are as confused about his response as anyone would be.
PErhaps you think less of yourself for bringing up the subject....why? Did his reaction shame you....why? All you did was want to talk about it.
And so all things being considered, I just don't think your ex was the right man for you and he is perhaps, a little bit immature.
I wish you allt he best.




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