How do i get confidence with making eye contact?!


Question: How do i get confidence with making eye contact?
I'm a male teen 19yrs old who's afraid of making & maintaining eye contact with girls. If i'm in a library or a club and i see a girl i like, i tend to advoid eye contact because i'm afraid of rejection and they'll think im a creep. Even if girls look at me, my instant reaction would be to look away & not look back, which i know is hurting my chances of meeting new people. How could i improve my self esteem on this?

Answers:

I think the best solution to this is to ask yourself: What do you fear? If you put it into perspective, what you're describing is a very normal reaction for most young men your age. As I've found over the years, girls will show through body language whether or not they are comfortable. However, most people are open to introductions. Begin with that, and try to take in their body language as you make small talk. If she does things like try to mirror your body language, you're all right. Twirling hair is another good sign. The one thing you have to watch out for is if she shifts from one foot to another. This indicates that she's not interested.

If you get to a point where that is an indication, just conclude the conversation and move on. Such is life! And trust me, there are plenty of girls seeking a genuine connection!

Firsthand experience.



You have to build upon your self[esteem] within.

ALL guys get rejected 100:1 ratio before someone says yes. Dont be afraid of rejection, its not personal. Girls like confident men, and usually not shy ones. So eye contact and confidence is very important. Even if you fake it, its better than being shy. If they somehow interpret your actions as creepy, blow them off and move on (that may even draw them back to you. They want what they cant have).

Get the fear out of the way... Go to a public place where you dont normally go (perhaps an out of town mall, or somewhere neutral like that), and just approach and ask out every single girl that walks by. That will build your confidence and get you used to the idea of rejection being meaningless. Also, there is a good chance some might actually say yes lol.

If you still cant muster the confidence... Try putting your eyes out of focus and looking "through" their eyes, so you are still giving them 'eye contact', but not actually 'looking' at them. If you know what I mean? That may make it easier for you.

Goodluck (best answer plox)



i used to have the same problem in middle school.
i couldn't look people in the eyes when i talked to them because i thought i was ugly.
it got better the older i get. the more you think of yourself and builid your confidence, than you will be able to maintain eye contact.

just practice and it will get easier.



Practice practice practice. If you catch one of them looking at you and you immediately look away, try looking back at them again. It doesn't necessarily have to be sustained eye contact, but if you keep looking over they will get the hint you're interested.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbS1a_caz0g



..Dude... lets be honest here, who CARES if they think your a creep. They're probably wrong (I say "Probably", because you could be lol... but guessing your not). Just look at them and smile, DON'T look at them like you would with someone you hate, or haven't seen... look at them like your interested... if you are, maybe they are too, and maybe give you the interested look back.

(But obviosuly this doesn't work with ALL girls, because not all girls are the same type of girl... example, a shy girl would look away quickly to this technique... or a big headed girl (Seductress/Social Butterfly... maybe a little bit of "cinderella") Would react differently... maybe, laugh, maybe smile back, maybe look away in disgust). REMEMBER! "THE SAME TECHNIQUE DOES NOT WORK WITH ALL GIRLS!... NOT ALL GIRLS ARE THE SAME DIP SHITES!"

BUT!!! Don't sit staring for ages like some gorm. If SHE doesn't look away and smile within 4-5 seconds, then look away yourself... and not so fast it seems you want to run away! lol. Just casually look away. BUT... if she DOES look away, with-in 3-4 seconds, and smiles, (You'll know what I mean when they smile)... then, go over. Ask if you could speak to her for a second on her own (get her away from her mates... ask if she'd like a drink or something... I DON'T KNOW! Whatever feels right at the time.

Just don't seem 'scared'... seem, and look, confident, happy, (not Too happy, she might think your mental)... good luck matey...




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