Do I Have Bipolar Disorder?!


Question: Do I Have Bipolar Disorder?
Where can I get help for what I think is bipolar disorder? I'm 26, and I first tried to kill myself when I was 11 years old. I've had a few suicide attempts over the years, and I used to cut myself quite often. I stopped, though.

I have a hard time focusing on work, and I'm always in debt because of that... and because I go on shopping sprees. Shopping makes me happy and hyper, and I don't notice that I've only slept three to four hours when I shop. After I'm done shopping, I crash and become moody and cranky or depressed and sullen again.

When I was seventeen, i had a relationship with a man more than ten years older than me, who beat me and abused me. After he left me, I became promiscuous, sleeping with random men and women, until I met my current boyfriend. Since then I have been faithful. I also stopped drinking when I met him.

My boyfriend is about ready to give up on me, because I always say horrible, horrible things to me when I'm in one of my nastier moods. Seeing a girl message him on Facebook is enough for me to drive over to his house to scream at him. At the same time, I love him so much that I worry whenever he leaves the house, in case he dies and leaves me alone. I always worry about him dying.

I have a son that I had when I was a teenager (from my abusive relationship), and I love him so much, but I hate it when he touches me. I hate being touched by everyone, the only person I tolerate doing it is my boyfriend. I hate that I hate being touched by my son, but I can't help it. My mom says I even push him away while I'm asleep. I love my son so much and I've never laid a finger on him and always tried my best to give him a good life, I quit school and started working so we didn't need to ask his father for financial help, but I always feel guilty and horrible about being a bad mother. My family has turned a blind eye to me and my outbursts, as mental illness is taboo in my country. However, my sisters always refer to me as their "crazy sis" and often hide sharp things when I'm feeling very depressed (they know I'm depressed because I shut down and stop talking and I sleep all day). My question is, is there a likelihood of me having bipolar disorder? Will it be worth it to schedule a visit to a psychiatrist, because a visit to a psychiatrist is going to cost A LOT of money, and I'm saving up for my son's tuition fees this coming school year? And is there even a psychiatrist in the Philippines? I just want to be a normal person like my sisters, who are good mothers, work hard, who never think of suicide, who enjoy the little things.

Answers:

In short, yes. It's always good to find a psychiatrist. You are smart and you are capable of turning your life around, I see it in your words.

You have so much hurt inside you that you say and do silly things. You hurt others because you want them to feel some of your pain. This is a normal outcome of an abusive relationship. You have to talk to a therapist of some kind and work through those painful memories.

Don't worry about Bipolar Disorder, it's just a label. You have a life. You have a beautiful son. Learn to manage your stress... channeling anger, meditation, yoga, etc.

If you focus on your treatment, life will start to fall back into place. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to treat yourself and other people with respect. And raise your boy to reach his full potential.

Things aren't as bad as they seem. You will see this in time. Be patient.



this site can help you!
http://findyourpurposechangeyourlife.com…



bipoler is a mood disorder youv lost your flow in life get out do your best to maintain your flow listen to music and try not to be so psycotic lol



hell yea!!!! get some help!!! i need it too dont worry i mite have bpd



i don think you are. i js think youve gone through alot of trama in your life and you have no one to talk to about it cuz they all think your "crazy". my dad has bipolar..he spends alot..leaves alot..confuses me so much..i cant trust him anymore but i think that if you see a psychiatrist it would help cuz if i were u i wuld want to vent to someone all the time..get it out of my head so i culd think clearly. i hope your current boyfriend is helping you, and treating you right, not like ur family is treating you. you are not a project to be fixed you js need love and understanding from others. js want u to know im prayin for you:) im srry if that offends you, but i truly mean it. i know whats its like to be around bipolar and messed up people..you can get through it. i don think you are bipolar. dont let anyone tear you down. i think prolly the reason you don want to be touched by anyone is becuz of ur past relationships..its okay. u shuldn feel guilty..i can tell js by reading this that you love your son very much. you will get through this with some support. :]




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