Is this a type of distorted thinking, or it is really this low?!
Question: Is this a type of distorted thinking, or it is really this low?
Your thinking is distorted, you seem confused on how you should be, and aren't happy with who you are.
A Life-Coach would be a great solution, they can help you both in a practical sense, get your finances in order, help you get a place of your own. But they should also be able to help you get your mind right, because going from very selfish, to self-chastisingly poor, is both not right of course, because it's very Ego oriented, a whole-person, knows how to contribute, and be a positive influence, but will also let others contribute, because it's about the unit, not the individuals.
There is nothing wrong about asking someone if you can live with them and if you know they are sincere then go for it. Living on the street would not be good for your own self interest. If you have no money to contribute, do as much as you can to contribute for the person you are living with like cleaning up after yourself and doing chores.