Psychotic need help bad?!


Question: Psychotic need help bad?
When i was 17 i joined the US army as Infantry. I was trained a decently young age and quickly adapted to the stress and hostility. I started to admire and enjoy it. I was trained by 3 different psycho paths were took their job very emotionally. Their psychosis has rubbed off on me since then. At 18 i got a entry level discharge for reasons undisclosed. I get these random spikes of empowerment and destruction.. usually when i drink and lose my self conscious. I go on a mad man spree and beat/attack or destroy everything and everyone that comes in my path. In the many fights i have been through i've attempted to kill my opponent with my bare hands. I hear the replying echos in my head of KILL KILL KILL without mercy. At times i feel no feelings toward human life and existence. As im aging im getting older and some day i feel like ill bring it too far. I need recommendations on the right doctor to help me with this on and off switch of psychoticness. I always target adult males the same size or bigger then me. Inside is a very sensitive person with respect of human life and he keeps this other guy in check. Good vs Evil is happening inside me.

Answers:

As much as you don't want to hear it, it sounds a TON like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You were in an environment where hostility and violence were ok, then you were sent home and expected to adapt. It's not that easy. Please understand, this is serious and it is NOT your fault. But if you don't seek help soon (like right NOW) you'll do serious damage, and that WILL be your fault. You can change the way your life is. Just go to a therapist. Or even just to your Primary doctor and tell him what you said here. He won't judge you, he'll give you someone to talk to.

Trust me, dealing with this now is the only way it will EVER go away.




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