I can't keep it to myself any longer. Who can I trust to talk to about my p!
Question: I can't keep it to myself any longer. Who can I trust to talk to about my past?
ok well i grew up in foster care and moved around to a lot of different homes. I never stayed in one place long. Well I was very abused in a few of these homes... and this people do know. My new adoptive family and my long-time girlfriend know that I was severely beaten growing up, that i was molested in one home, and badly neglected in many. My life is great now.. when I hit a certain age no one dared to try to hurt me anymore and my new family is all I could have ever dreamed of, i am madly in love and I get straight A's in all honors and AP classes at school. No one would know what really happened to me so I'm really scared to reveal my big secret to anyone. The man that molested me is now in jail serving a life sentence because of what he did to another kid... so I know he can't hurt anyone else now but what he did still hurts me every day because he did more to me than people think. I was raped three times by him when I was eleven years old. It's killing me keeping it to myself and lately I've been taking all sorts of pills (not prescribed to me) to get the thoughts out of my head... and I have been having nightmares about it at least twice a week. I'm terrified to tell my girlfriend because I don't want her to think I am less of a man..... and also I'm just so ashamed that I couldn't do anything to stop it. I'm fifteen now and I know I'll totally lose it if I don't talk to at least one person about it but who do I talk to? I feel like my parents will put me back into therapy... my friends will call me gay... my girlfriend will not see me the same... and my sister is too young.... :l please help me .... sorry this is so long. Who can I trust? How do I go about telling them? What should I expect? or should I just keep it to myself?
Answers:
Sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles and how the people who were supposed to take care of you mistreated you so badly. You're very brave to be seeking help now.
A couple of thoughts: First, please stop taking the pills. They're just masking your emotions, and you're going to have to deal with the feelings. Second, if you don't like formal therapy, can you talk to a clergy person or a teacher you feel close to? How about a counselor at school? These are people trained to help you, and they're required to keep your conversations confidential.
Also, please talk to your adoptive parents about how you're feeling. They love you and want to help you. They may want you to get more therapy, but maybe that isn't such a bad thing? Maybe you just didn't like your therapist, but there are many counselors who specialize in just what you're going through. As for your girlfriends and friends, they care about you, and if they're true friends, they won't see you any differently.
You shouldn't have to carry this burden yourself, and the longer you do, the more damage it will do to you. Besides, you did absolutely NOTHING wrong. You're a survivor. Lots of people would have let their past destroy them, but you didn't, and you should be proud of yourself for the success you've made of your life.
One last suggestion: when you've worked through this, and you're feeling healthier and stronger, you might want to think about getting involved in Big Brothers or some other agency. Volunteering for something like that would allow you to use what you've learned to help someone else.
You're in my prayers, dear!
PLEASE email me kirasanchez@ymail.com i was molested as a child as wel and i think i can relate
Well, you've got no choice man. You gotta tell somebody before you end up in the streets smoking weed (smoking crap like weed makes you less stressed) or lie on a bed on a hosptial because of an overdose of medical drugs. But man... You got a longtime girlfriend? I am not allowed to date until i'm 18. Anyways, if I were you, I would tell my girlfriend because girls are sensitive and most of them (except for my sister) will probably help you. You can also get a physician if you really want to keep everything private but I heard they make $250/h so I would clear out of there unless I've got the balls and the cash. You can talk to your school's principle or any person that is suppose to solve personal problems in your school. Girlfriend or some random adult you know at school, you choice truly.
P.S. I got nightmares where I thought I will never get a girlfriend. Consider yourself lucky dude.
deffinatly tell your family. i kept my sexual abuse to myself for 8 months and it absolutly destroyed me, telling my family was the best thing that has happened because they have been unbelievably supportive. also you should go see a doctor and see if they will prescribe you some medication to help you. i am so sorry to hear what you have been through babe but if you tell your family things will get better :) dont feel ashamed or blame yourself for any of this because NONE of it is your fault, i blamed myself and ended up suicidal and in a mental health hospital for a year! if you ever need anyone to talk to you can email me, i am always willing to listen and help wherever i can. best of luck sweetie x
been through abuse