was this sexual abuse, im confused?!


Question: Was this sexual abuse, im confused?
i was dating a guy for a while until i broke up with him 2 weeks ago and stuff from when we were dating has been playing in my head i just need some input

i used to him once a week usually hanging out at his house and there were several times were he'd go to touch me around thigh/groin area and id stop him(usually id let him though alot of the time that was more cuz i didnt care and couldnt be bothered stoping him then i actually wanted it) and he would keep asking why i stopped him and make a big deal out of it then after he 'seemed' to be satisfied hed try again like 2 minuts later and again and again... he would have some excuse for it "your too sexy" "i cant help it" ect. once he tried "you said you liked me touching you" but i really yelled at him for that... i usualy threatend to hurt him after the second time he would try and he would say he'd stop ect...
this wasnt all the time and usually he was nice and stuff it was just after we had been doing 'stuff'(we never went all the way) for awhile that this started happening

btw i had been sexually abused when i was younger which i had told him earlier in the relationship when we started to get serious
and i just wanted to know if i've let it happen again

just a few points:
this relationship is over now and i have deleted him from my phone, emails, ect.
im 18

anything else you need to know just ask...

Answers:

Yes, it was, as long as you are telling him/someone no and stop and all that, it is abuse if they keep going.
That you told him you were abused, he may have interpreted that as you being easy , since some people are really exploitive andmisunderstand even basic things .
I would say , if you can find someone worthy of trust to help you recognize certain attitudes /behaviors, and help you get more conscious of why you may attract what is 'familiar' (not necessarily GOOD), then it may go a long way for you to avoid the wrong type person in the future.
I have to add, though there are a lot of abused, and abusive people to watch out for.
Otherwise, I would remove the bad ole incidents /attitudes/memories and feelings with this , or a therapist trained in it eftuniverse.com click on 'get started free'. There are some in australia, I know. It works really well, unlike any other therapy.
You dont have to believe it , it works anyway.

x



Sounds like you teasing some stranger. You continued to hang out with him after that? Yeah, your definitely messing with that poor guy.

PS: I am really sorry what happened to you when you were a child :(



You were dating the guy for awhile and he was your boyfriend. So yeah, guys want to get touchy feely with girls. And at 18, you're an adult, so it's not like he was a child molester.



You basically were dating a horndog and giving him mixed signals. He was reacting to his hormones and your mixed signals. Set your limits a little higher and understand that if a guy makes it to second or third base, he assumes he will eventually make it to home, EVEN if he has to get a little physical.

Been a teen ager. Worked as a sub teacher and listened to girls who regretted decisions to give in to remain popular or "not rejected" New push is to send explicit pictures via cell phones. Simple advise---DON'T!!



i dunno if id say its abuse..assult maybe..but i mean you were dating, he was probably under the impression that you wanted it..eaither way, hes a creeper. stay away from him..you deserve better..it really sucks that this happened..i was sexually abused/assulted by my ex-best guy friend..i guess its good for peace of mind to know if it was assult abuse or neither..he didnt really like force you to take off your pants or go down on him (from what i know) which would be a high degree of assult or a low-medium degree of abuse..if anything hes a perve who potentially sexually assulted you..STAY AWAY FROM HIM haha..good luckk ツ



What do you think is going on? You're 18 and you have agreed to be in a committed relationship and you continue to go out and to hang out, but you don't want your boyfriend to touch you? That's not a boyfriend, that's you teasing some stranger, cruelly, and wasting their time. If anyone was sexually abused it was him, by you. Healthy human beings want and enjoy sex and if you don't then you have no business doing anything more than casual dating.

You seem very naive and what you're doing is very irresponsible. Boys have feelings too, love, and horniness, and love, and you probably broke his heart (why did she break up with me?) and made him question his self-esteem (why doesn't she want me? what's wrong with me?) and even his sexuality (maybe I'll never get laid?). I dated girls like you and I hated them and what they did to me, which took years of therapy and finally dating and marrying a good women to overcome.

You want to grow it back because of what happened to you, play little girl lost, fine, but do it on your own time and be absolutely honest with anyone that asks you out and tell them, "Lets have fun, but I don't intend for this to go anywhere, ever." If you're not being honest then you're playing games and you're hurting people.



I just want to say I'm very sorry for what happened to you when you were younger and I know what it's like. my mom was sexually abused in 2000, and she is still suffering from it now.

In this particular predicament I would say it is abuse because of your many times you told him to stop. If he keeps doing it I suggest you either tell your parents or go to the police if it becomes worse. Don't let it escalate at all. If you ever see him around again tell police and whoever you feel comfortable with talking to. I repeat, DON'T LET IT ESCALATE!




The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories