Ok, everyone here just seems to be talking me out of it, so ill ask something mo!


Question: Ok, everyone here just seems to be talking me out of it, so ill ask something more?
Ok, let's start. I'm 17 years old (male), i live in a quite primitive country (Latvia), i have lived here all my life. I have both parents, both grandparents and a brother, many cousins and so on. My life has always been good, my parents love me, i love them, i have many friends.
The first problem is - i'm shy. I'm so shy, it could even be called a disease. I try to grow long hair, so no one can look me in the eyes, because i hate it when people are looking at me. When i go somewhere, i usually take a longer way to my destination, because i try to avoid as much people as possible on my way there. I have problems talking, i know 2 other languages besides the one spoken in my country, but i almost always say no when someone wants me to say something in german or english - i hate talking.
The other problem is - i can't trust anyone. I try, but i can't. For example, there is this girl whom i like, and she says she likes me too, but i can't believe it, and i think she will soon want to forget everything about me. I can't trust any of my friends, they have always let me down.
The third problem - i hate myself. I really do. I hate myself so much, i can't even describe it in words. Think about it - I have everything i want, everything a human needs to live and be happy, but i don't want it. I don't deserve it. I hate people, my dream is to live alone, without friends, family, without anything, only supplies for living a life. I love it when it's peaceful and quiet, it's just wonderful, no one who wants to talk to you, no one who cares about you, you can do what you want and how you want it. For approximately 2 years, i have had this feeling : I want to fall asleep and never wake up. I want to die with no one by my side, i want everyone to hate me, so no one will care, and it would be much, much easier to leave this world that way. I don't want to make anyone sad by ending my own life, but i think there's no other solution.
I don't know where to get help, i don't want to ask my parents or friends, because i don't care what they would say about this problem. I can't go to any counseling, my parents would know about it. I don't want my life, whoever wants can take it. That's all i have to say, i don't know what to do... i just don't know...

Answers:

You're not alone. Although I don't have all of the fine qualities and intelligence you possess, I have felt that and I also truly believe that everyone has felt that way. Some have felt that way for a shorter time than others, and some may feel that way quite often like you and I. I am 43 years old so I've had a bit longer to deal with those emotions, which really is all they are. Sometimes we may feel a certain way when reality isn't anything like we had perceived it to be. I have to say that we all have had friends and members of the opposite sex let us down. Let's look at this another way. Can your friends trust you? The girl that you like, does she trust you? I'll bet she does, and I'd say the same about your friends, however I would also bet that they haven't trusted you 100% in every aspect until you had given them reason to trust or not trust you, wouldn't you agree? We all want to be trusted and believed in don't we? I'll venture to say you do and guess what? So do your friends and that young lady! People in life are going to let us down, just as we too will let others down from time to time because none of us are perfect and we have to recognize and understand that. It's kind of funny, but the more trust we afford others the more we allow ourselves to trust them back. You said you love your parents and family and you know they love you so in some way don't you feel you kind of owe it to them continue to be a part of that? I believe that it's a responsibility we all have.
As for your shyness and desire to avoid people, that really goes back to what I said earlier about allowing yourself to trust others, and that will only come about with exposure to different circumstances and situations. Avoiding any sort of confrontation only helps to enable your shyness. Try each day to do one thing against what your inner voice tells you to do. For example, should a friend ask you to speak in another language, do it but keep it short and the next time will be even easier. This isn't going to happen over night, but if each day you try something new, eventually you will look back and be glad you're still here and happy about all the incredible experiences you will have had and have to look forward to. I realize this all sounds easier said than done, but I know you will be happy with the results. One last thing, allow yourself to be vulnerable sometimes. Girls are going to hurt your heart sometimes, and you may even hurt theirs, but you'll grow from it and then when you're ready and the one you really like comes along you'll be able to deal with it. You're worth so much more than you know and have a lifetime of amazing experiences yet to come. Don't allow something that can be fixed to cause you to do something that cannot be fixed.
God made you for a reason, and you don't want to die, you just want change and that's why you're on here. God Bless



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You should talk to a doctor about this. It sounds to me like you have severe depression at least. Before I went on the medications I am on now, I would think that nobody wanted me, that nobody loved me, and that I wasn't even worth of the love that my family showed me. Now that I'm on an antidepressant and a bi-polar medication, I am a lot happier and I don't have those thoughts anymore.

as for the shyness, you can't be too shy if you are willing to sit down and post all of this on the internet.

I'm sure a doctor could help you with this. Please talk to someone about what you have been thinking- the suicidal thoughts, the trust issues, and the social awkwardness (I'm not trying to insult you, I couldn't think of any other way to put it). I hope this inspires you to get help!



wooooooooooow you need help!!! like seriously you need to speak to someone... you may be suffering depression. you need to rebuild your confidence and learn to trust people.. except who you are and love yourself.. find out whats wrong in your life which is making you feel this way as this ain't normal.




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