Fiance & I can't agree on where to live and im terrified it will cause !


Question: Fiance & I can't agree on where to live and im terrified it will cause us to resent each other! Advice?
Im 27 and have been with my fiance for almost 2yrs, engaged 3 months. He is a 35yo detective who lives in Hawaii, He is originally from NJ but moved there 6yrs ago, We met when i went there for work and we've been together since even though its been really hard without him. We usually visit each other really often but i mostly spend alot of time at his place. I understand that he is not willing to leave his job & he loves living there but i was born & raised in NY and love the 'busy city life' & my job, Although i could get a job there it would be a sort of 'down grade' to what i've worked for here. We want to get married next summer & he always tells me how happy i've made him & that he's miserable without me, I'm thinking of just giving in to what he want as i love him so much & the fact that im 8wks pregnant with our first baby. I know it may seem like a stupid thing to debate about but its really doing my head in, Any advice/opinions?

Answers:

This may sound like a "minor" problem to a lot of people but it is actually quite serious. I honestly think you should make an effort to join him in Hawaii. I know that it will be a difficult challenge but if you truly love him that should be a pretty good incentive. I do relate to your issue about leaving the city. I moved to Hawaii quite a few years ago. I was thrilled to be there for about the first year. After one year I started to develop something quite common called "island fever". It isn't a real medical condition but it is something that happens often to "mainlanders" who suddenly find themselves living (rather isolated) on an island that really isn't very big. I saw EVERYTHING there was to see there and suddenly started missing the pace and population of the "big city". Give it a try. He may come around to your way of thinking after a while but at least you will be together to start your family.




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