How to make up my wife feel safer with me as she loves me lot and she is feared !
Question:
How to make up my wife feel safer with me as she loves me lot and she is feared to have a baby....?
My wife loves me a lot. I use to tell her simply that I love to see my baby soon and use to tell her for fun that I will never bother her after I get a baby and that I will show all my affection on my my baby. I told all these things only for fun but she took that serious and hates to plan for a baby in future. She is a fun loving girl and use to be always funny but nowadays whenever I start this topic she becomes serious dont know why... help me or suggest me how to make her understand indirectly that she is my first baby and then only anyone else in this world to me.... I will be much thankfull to the one who gets me an idea for this....
Answers:
Woo! Got yourself in the doghouse with some insensitive comments now, didn't you...? :-)
No woman wants to be seen as some kind of discardable baby maker just as no man wants to be seen as some kind of discardable money maker. You just may have to be on your best behavior and make no mention of babies for awhile until your wife can restore her faith in you as her loving husband. The next time the both of you are around friends, it might help if you publicly admit your mistake if the conversation heads around to it.
The best way you can make her understand that she is your first 'baby' is by absolutely respecting her decision making process and still loving her completely for who she is. If you try to 'win' this argument by not listening to what she needs (and being babyless for right now might be what she really desires), then you are telling her that her opinion of when she should have your baby doesn't matter to you. From what you describe, she's losing her sense of humor about this as she is beginning to understand that your having a baby is more important to you than honoring how she feels she needs to live her life right now.
You are entitled to know, however, that at some point in the future you will be able to have children with her. If she doesn't want to have kids at all, then you must either make the decision to sustain this marriage or seek a new one. If she says she does want kids, then relax a little. If she's substantially younger than you, understand that she may still need to sow her own wild oats by enjoying the freedom of being an adult female not tied down yet with kids. And, enjoy your life with her while the house is still quiet and you two can go out when you like...
Good luck, hon. I'm sure you're going to make a great father when the BOTH of you are ready. :-)