Real/honest/mature advice please. I'm desperate...?!

Real/honest/mature advice please. I'm desperate...?

Well, it's a very long story, but just to make it short, I am having father problems. His family are not the best people in the world and cause pain...he can't seem to get that through his head, but everytime my children, mother and I go to her side of the family for visits(which are daily or every other day) he gets the biggest temper. He is never thankful, always mad, his mood changes so drastically that sometimes i am stunned. One minute HAPPY AS EVER, the next pissed like no other.
I'm getting so stressed and i can tell it's taking a toll on my mother and my kids. Please help, any good advice.
Please only serious answers.
Thanks for your time

I really feel for you. I don't know if I have the answers for you but I can give you my opinion/experience. My father is similar, not as extreme but I feel has similar qualities, as your father. The way I dealt with it was to make myself unavailable to him. I would visit with my mother and pay no attention other then a simple hello. Once he realized he was ruining his realtionship with me, my spouse and my children, he started tryng harder to keep his moods and self-loathing at a mimimum.

Now this didn't last too long, and I ultimately had to make my visits once a week. It isn't healthy to be brought down and under-appreciated. When I would talk to my mother about how he was affecting her, she would tell me that she would rather deal with it then live without a man she has been with for 35 years.

I decided that their relationship was not my concern, but my life was. I am much happier now, I see him about 2 times a week, and he is usually grumpy and I just focus my time and energy on someone/thing else going on around me.

We still clash every once and a while and have it out, but minimizing my exposure to him has done wonders.

Lots of luck to you

XO