Sister is trying to quit drinking-rehab or therapy doesnt' help, what next?!


Question:

Sister is trying to quit drinking-rehab or therapy doesnt' help, what next?

She says, going to church and AA meetings don't take the desire away. She told me yesterday that she will probably be dead in 2 years. She has 3 small kids, she feels shes already ruined their lives.She is a nurse, she works, goes home,checks her email, drinks a couple beer then goes to sleep.I don't know what to say to wake her up. She really wants to quit, but can't she says.

Additional Details

4 days ago
So what is that 'kick in the butt' she needs? I told her since she decided to have children, on her own, its her responsibility to be a great parent she has no other choice.

4 days ago
She said nothing 'bad' ever happened to her, ever.SHe had the perfect childhood, said she doesn't know why she loves beer.

2 days ago
My sister is the one crying for help, I don't nag. She is the one driving the kids while she's drunk!

2 days ago
My sister is the one crying for help, I don't nag. She is the one driving the kids while she's drunk and I hear it from other people.


Answers:

ALcoholism is a horrible addiction. It is amazing how powerfully the addiction has people in its grip. This is why people often say that alcoholics only change when they hit rock-bottom, when they have totally messed their lives up. Just listen to what your sister is saying - that church and AA don't take away the desire to drink. Well, of course they don't!! She has to be willing not to drink EVEN THOUGH she wants to, and if she waits for the desire to go, she'll be dead first. She may want to quit at one level, but she is also unwilling to suffer at all in the quest to stop.

That's the nub of it. People drink to avoid pain - emotional pain - and if they stop drinking they will feel the pain. That's why psychotherapy (where one can work on the issues that are pain-causing) and AA (where you get the support to survive the painfulness and difficulty) are so important.

I wonder what sort of therapy she has experienced? There are many different approaches and different types of therapeutic intervention. I would say that, if she is remotely serious about stopping, she commits to going to AA and to not drinking even though she wants to (she will fail sometimes, but the AA motto is 'one day at a time') and tries a psychotherapist with experience in this field. I don't know where you live, but she does need to find someone properly qualified and experienced in this work. Psychosynthesis is an approach that can be very helpful, but isn't the only possibility.




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