How to be supportive to depressed mother-in-law...?!


Question:

How to be supportive to depressed mother-in-law...?

All of a sudden my mother-in-law is depressed and only sleeping about 3 hours a night...

My husband is taking her to the Dr. tomorrow because the meds shes been on aren't working.

I don't have any experience in dealing with depression... what should I do to be supportive of my husband and mother-in-law? Is there anything I SHOULDN'T do?


Answers:

Did your mother-in-law recently go through some dramatic lifestyle changes? Has she been removed from her existing social circles? Please elaborate some more and I will try to offer some tips.

I am helping someone who just became a widow. No history of depression, but I was told to watch out for it because she has been removed from her socialization structure. Unfortunately, her past socialization was almost fully dependent on her late husband, so we have to build something from scratch. We are starting by helping her set some goals, try to understand her interests, etc.
Some people get depressed when they think they are not needed (a lot of elderly people feel this). If this is the case, try to find some responsibilities for them. If they are open to it, put them in a position where people will look up to them, like a library reading tutor, or helping others at a senior center, etc.
If you both share a faith, pray with her.

Things you shouldn't do:
It really depends on her situation, but I would say to not focus too much conversation on her negative situation, but DO carry out conversation to help draw her out. Get her to recall fond memories or retell some favorite stories, etc. If she is grieving, give her the time and space to process this. Don't discount her feelings (e.g. don't say 'you shouldn't feel that way'). Don't try to be the counselor if she is already seeing a counselor.




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