Bipolar disease is ruining my marriage!?!


Question:

Bipolar disease is ruining my marriage!?

I was diagnosed with bipolar disease when I was about 16, but it is only in the last 6 months that I have had real symptoms. At first I didn't know what it was, but my friends and family definitely knew something was wrong with me.

The problem is, it is ruining my marriage! I have been emotionally abusive towards my husband to the point that I think he may be nearly done with me. He does not understand the disease and says that "change has to come from within." He sees it as something that I can control myself, and although I have been trying, it is impossible. I can honestly say that I am not in control of myself when a high or a low hits me.

What can I do or say to save my marriage? We are on the verge of separation right now, he has already said some time apart might be best. But I just know that would only make it worse, because I need him in my life to feel even the smallest bit of happiness! Right now he is refusing to speak to me and I have sunk into a deep depression.

Additional Details

6 days ago
I am ashamed to admit I have not been receiving any sort of treatment. I only recently realized how serious this disease is. I was not told at the time of my evaluation at 16 what to do about my condition, I was just left to figure it out on my own.

Thank you to the people who have answered so far. The more I learn about this, the better.


Answers:

It's rough. To be with a bipolar person, it's a real challenge.

It might just be that he is not equipped to deal with it, just like some people cannot deal with a person who has lost their legs or sight or arms in a car accident. It requires someone who is a caretaker, and is more demanding of their time and energy. Some people are just not equipped to take care of someone else to that level.

He doesn't seem to comprehend that it is out of your control. He sounds like he thinks it is you needing to change you r anger. It's not your will, it's a chemical process in the organ of your brain, just like a hear tor liver problem.

The best thing to do is try to gain insight, with time, you will be able to sense when mood swings are about to hit. when they do, just try to avoid others and deal with it. It passes.

When you are manic, it's a real creative period, usually. Do artwork, or write or something that harnesses that energy. When you get down, take a walk, and just be there with your feelings. They pass, in time. Do not give in to manic urges, like gambling or sex or binge eating, or crazy driving, because life is so exciting.

I have been told that studying Buddhism helps, only because it teaches you that feelings come and go, you are you, your feelings separate from you.

Good luck to you. A lot of people do not understand what Bipolar is. I long ago had a girlfriend that said, "Oh, yeah, I am bipolar." I had no clue what it was, I wish I did. The fights were horrific, and it just drained me of energy. We only lasted nine months. I don't blame her, I blame my lack of education. now I know.

Good luck. It might be that you will have to divorce, but with some education on it, he might figure it out. Go to NAMI sites, and such, to give him and education on it, and dealing with it.

Try to find a Bipolar support group at a local hospital.




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