What should i do to balance my unstable mind and thinking which is destroying my!
Question:
What should i do to balance my unstable mind and thinking which is destroying my life as iam in a dilemma.?
i was married 10 years ago to a very short and aged man.i was very nervous and suffered depression as i hated his appearence..in this dilemma i aborted pregnency though he wants children..after an year iget adjusted and began to love him & try to conceive and undergone treatment but again tentions as i failed to conceive.after that i all over again suffered depression and became confused regarding my marriage.i felt sad and depressed when i think of life with him or leaving him.
we get separated after every fight for months & years.
i think that because of my unbalanced thinking i cant able to take any decision. when i live with him i feel that i cant able to led life with him and decide to divorce him but suddenly got frightened and change my decision.i dont have strength to take any step nor has the courage to live with him.how can i overcome this cycle of thoughts.some times i wanted to get back to him but suddenly felt depressed.i cry a lot as i fail to take any step.
Answers:
you have married since 10 years and not happy, from beginnig due to shor stature of man
Is it only short stature that is haunting you or some thing else. his earning, social status and his nature, does he not love you does he abuse you does he go after other woman.
what is wrong with him
and at first why did you accept him as husband in marriage ,was it parental force, or some monetary compulsion.
did he promise you green card.
are you an India girl or what --who has taken a jump and afterwards looks back. --
Your story is sad and you are in pitiable condition but this doe not entail you to decide on one way . you are neither deciding to manage on your own. you are affraid for economic stability and shelter and then return to your ugly husband whom you do not like .... this is not married life ... but whoring your body mind and soul....
what is your age now.... you have to get some skill to support you financially, else you have to seek divorce and claim alimony on valid grounds of cruelty or some abuse... but yuo can not do injustice to an innocent man who is only short in stature...
You have to just accept the Godly wish and your fate... Love that man from your heart and mind and be his really friend and look how life changes
you will also have energy to do creative work in your home and gather some ladies for some spiritual Satsang, you will come out of your depression soon.
do not waste on costly therapies. if you can not afford
Get pregnant and raise the kid, your joy will return..