Is it love? Or just obsession - compulsion?!

Is it love? Or just obsession - compulsion?

I posted a couple of notes about this a while ago and thought I had arrived at a healthy place. But now, I think I'm going nuts.

I am very happily married and yet I've fallen in love with someone at work. At least, I think it's love. It FEELS like love, but it is very different from the way I feel about my wife. (Does that make sense?)

My problem (or at least one of them) is that I really don't have a best friend outside of my wife. So, for obvious reasons, I can't talk to her about this.

I need someone to talk to. I don't need anyone to berate me. I've beaten myself up plenty over this.

And, in case you're interested:
- The woman knows how I feel (I'm not entirely clear how she feels.. and she's engaged)
- We've had no intimate contact.
- I've never cheated on my wife (and I really doubt I ever would).
- We've been married for 16 years with 2 kids
Can anyone help? I'm not a bad guy... maybe just a little off.

1 week ago
We don't actually work together. We're at the same company, but in different areas and our relationship is personal. (Which is very unusual for me. I don't have many friends.)
I don't want to feel this way about her. I was hoping that we'd be able to be just friends. But, I can't stop thinking about her. Do I have a problem in my head?

Hey Joe I understand your situation I've been there before.
What I can tell you from my experience is that sometimes you need to separate yourself from all your troubles and think deep within you about what or who is the better decision. Think about the years you've spent with your wife and everything you know about her; the things you like or dislike. Then take those same question and ask them again about the other woman. I know you don't the other woman as well as you know your wife but what are you willing to risk? One thing I've heard very often is that if a marriage is going sour never stay for the kids. I'm not saying you should leave your wife or that your a bad father or husband. Just think about what is best for yourself. One thing you need to understand it that whether its love or anything remotely close to that, a person will always look out for them self first before considering the other (with some exceptions). Joe take your time and don't rush into anything irrational. You have quite a way in front of you. Take care and hope all things end well.