Very very bad mood, can't get it to go away( the last q. i posted was about 2 wk!

Very very bad mood, can't get it to go away( the last q. i posted was about 2 wks ago, about depression and ..

bipolar.). k, I can't seem to stay happy, Sunday my husband and I took our 2 kids to t them park(dollywood) and i was in a ok mood i played with them and all that stuff, and that evening I just seemed to get in a horrible mood on the way home. I still am...I feel the world is aginst me and i can turn to no one for help, i have bills due that can't be paid(and i know thats adding to it, i have no idea what to do about it. I feel it would be best if i were dead(most of the time) that way i wouldn't pass my feeling on to my kids(who are 2 &4 yrs old) i hate who i am, i just want to sit in a corner and cry to myself for days, i feel everything that goes wrong is my fault, and i can do nothing to make it better, i feel inadequate because i can't provide what my kids need, and i feel like a bad mother for this reason. I don't know who to ask for help, and I'm afraid if i do my family(mostly my mom) will think of me as a peice of crap, I hate asking for anything from anyone. aaahhhhhhh!!!!

1 week ago
why does it feel like i fail at everything....I try to be a good person and i get **** on for it, i really hate my self , life is impossible it will never get better, not for me anyway, i wish i could go away for ever then i would have nothing to worry about*crying now* i have no friends, family who never comes around, my husband thinks he always has to have a friend over or be at their house, my son don't wanna stay at home because granny bribes him to stay with her....and i think my husband should say something since it's his mom, it's not my place to speack up about it(i feel).


Can't go on anymore......................t... hard to talk about everything, any help?

1 week ago
i have an appt. for the 17th but it feels so far away.......

First think of this...later in life your kids would have to say their mom was passed or killed herself. You need to A get on the right meds B talk to a counselor maybe a family one so they know why you act the way you do sometimes so the kids know it isnt there fault and C need to just pamper yourself and do things for you that make you happy. Bills should be your first priority so that will take away your stress..instead of the theme park pay some bills. Dont feel bad for asking for help if you dont ask and dont open up then it will just drive people away from you then you really wont have anyone to help you. Just pull yourself out of the slum for your family stop feeling so bad...if you truly are this sad get on meds talk to a counselor otherwise done mope if you dont want to ask for help because otherwise nothing will be solved. You have children and need to think of their happiness. You need to set a good example for them. I know what it is to be judged by everyone I know what it is to be left out of the family. I am Deaf in hearing family who wont adjust to my needs..I grew up in Deaf community while hearing community looks down on us thinking we are dumb or disabled. I know how bad depression can be...but you need to help yourself for your childrens sake...