I'm 55 years old, and I feel like I've tried everything there is to try, have ex!

I'm 55 years old, and I feel like I've tried everything there is to try, have experieced more pain than

happiness in my life, have suffered a lot of losses, cried a lot of tears, endured many hardships, and I just don't want to do it any more. Anything wrong with just bowing out of life now? i really don't care about whom it may hurt...my family or friends. i just want to be put out of my pain and misery. I am the one whose hurting.

I am so sorry you feel this way, and do sympathise. Hard as it is to understand right now, you are depressed - this is something that many of us go through, but once it becomes chronic depression, you cannot lift yourself out of it because the illness distorts your focus. It is as simple as brain chemistry. You have an imbalance of serotonin in your brain and consequently things seem worse than they are - believe me, i have suffered from depression, i am not talking without experience. You must trust in looking after yourself, and getting medical advice. If you can't see it now, trust me, killing yourself is one dumb move. You have plenty more years left to do soemthing with your life that you want - irrespective of whatever you have been through in the past. You do not have the right to hurt those who love you, no matter how you feel right now. If you kill yourself you are spreading this illness - trust me, there are those who will be depressed as a result of this. You might say that is not your problem - but instead of having a bad snowball effect, believe that you can have a positive snowball eeffect -good things can come to you and your loved ones too. Just take it slowly, and get some help rRIGHT NOW. Ring the samaritans if you are in the UK. See your doctor. Take what he or she prescribes and do one small thing a day for yourself. Sounds obvious, but you must start small. Good luck. There is so much more to live for.