I am soooooo wound up, help me please?!

I am soooooo wound up, help me please?

my aunt is driving me crazy, I need help to de-stress, she's demanding and a liar and manipulative and I am the only family she has....I am a mum of 4 (one disabled and one toddler and one at uni) and husband. Help.........

You dont say how old she is, or if she lives with you or not, but I know how you feel, my mum was a VERY difficult person for the last 2 years of her life.

If she is very old, then fear is probably driving her behaviour, fear of bieng alone, fear of death, fear of illness etc etc, you are going to have to take a zen approach, visit a couple of times a week perhaps, call her on the phone every day to make sure she is ok, and let her get on with it at all other times, maybe you could look into getting her a home emergency service, like Homeline or something, she would get an alarm thingy to keep on her person, and emergency buttons round the house, she may feel more secure if she has someone to call 24/7.

Dont be a martyr to her tho, I learned with my mum that doing too much for an elderly person is not good for them, makes them lazy and dependant, for some reason this makes them resentful and difficult, if they can look after themselves a bit its good for them, believe me, anyone, even younger elderly people [ie 60+] need to move about, get out a bit and look after themselves, she can do it, she would have to if you were not there so take a step back, dont answer her calls as often and she will have to sort herself out.

Ignore the lying and manipulation, set your own rules and stick to them, she will have to get used to it, if she becomes even more difficult, see even less of her, its no good trying to talk sensibly to a manipulative liar, the answer why is in the first statement!