How much effect does having a poor family relationship effect your adult life?!
Question:
How much effect does having a poor family relationship effect your adult life?
I am wondering what type of impact my childhood had on my adult life. I am now 31 and just realizing I have some serious psychological problems and I am trying to figure out where they came from.
I would not say my childhood was horrible, I was not physically abused but I have never been very "close" to my family members. My parents supported me, but we were never very close. I never considered them friends and although we went on family holidays etc, things always felt "distant". Now we only speak on the phone a few minutes a month. My only sister who was a very troublesome teenager and constantly fought with my conservative parents left the house at around 17 and never returned. We have never been close and to this day only speak occassionally. Now I currently suffer from depression and poor self esteem for as long as I remember.
It really effects all aspects of my life and it does not seem to be getting better with age. I am constantly negative and unmotivated.
Answers:
Family relationships, good or bad, will always impact your adult life and relationships. It is the DEGREE to which they affect your relationships that you do have control over, however. The more you become clear on what your past experiences were, and how they have shaped the person you have become, as well as your current views on relationships the less these past relationships will dictate your new ones.
The best advice I can give is to find someone with whom you can begin to explore these relationships and how they continue to affect you. The traditional solution would be to consult a therapist of some form.
If you are interested, I provide life and relationship coaching as a part of my holistic health practice, and I would be happy to offer you a free one-hour consultation via phone. Let me know if you are interested, and whatever you decide, seek out support in whatever form it makes most sense to you!
Sincerely,
Regina Bordieri
Certified Holistic Health Counselor
www.HolisticEmpowerment.net