I don't know how i feel anymore..?!

I don't know how i feel anymore..?

I just stopped trying to understand myself. All i think is, i've been depressed for a month now, what's going to be different about this cycle today?? so i just am so blank. you talk to me, i talk back like a robot...ahhh :[ and i can't talk to anyone about it (maybe friends, but they're so perfect that i'd seem like a freaak) and i can't afford a doctor/therapist or medication (not like i need any anyways..) so any tips?? i just want to disintegrate into the floor and sink in with the rocks and dirt. i'll reincarnate as a flower and some giraffe will eat me. my dream life.

Dont go down so hard on your self. I been there, I dont think your taling like a robot, you seem to be a very nice person. And for your friends, hate to tell them this but no ones perfect. Dont let them make you feel like a freak, for you are not! I get told im stupid all the time, and that i need to shut up for I talk to much. And i dont say much at all. Some people to me can KISS my ,well you know what! They say chioldern are the meanest with there words. Who taught them to be that way? answerto that there folks.I dont think theres much wrong, besides you dont feel like you belong any where or fit in. Specially with your friends . If im wrong than sorry. I dont think you need a doc. to tell you some thing you already know about your self. Nor do you need Meds to help you , all that does is with Meds, you sit around doped up and drowl alot. Or your so dam high for them you cant even move. some meds can be very bad for you,or who ever it my be. I tried to kikk my self being on meds . Idont believe that pills solve problems people do !! I dont know to much about you only what ive been threw. So I hope this helps you a little. Do me a favor dont do any thing yhat you might regret oaky. Like i said i dont know you but you seem to be an alright person in my book. So hang in there.