What is the point of my life now?!

What is the point of my life now?

I'm a single mom who's got one child gone onto her own life hundreds of miles away (25 yrs old) and one about to be doing the same in the next couple of years (16 yrs old). I had a great job with great people for many years, until it was discontinued when the company was sold to another a couple years ago. I had another job for awhile but quit, I was so unhappy. I have not worked since. I cannot find a single thing in my life to get excited or care much about anymore. All of my friends live far away too. I have tried to be with someone, but my relationship with him ended recently after two difficult years...I have a dog and my garden, I'm broke, I'm 44, and I don't think I care to be around anymore. What are the reasons to be here at this point in life? My kids barely need me anymore, I don't get any pleasure out of anything, I'm just...here. And I don't know why. What is the point? How do I care about my life again?

1 week ago
I had my first child at 19 and I can barely remember when I was not a mother...my children have always been my reason to stay in this world, but if I will only see them a few times a year, I don't think I can survive. I don't know how to live without them needing me on a daily or even weekly basis. They have been the point of everything in my life, and they are great successful people. I just don't give a sh*t about me. I feel very disposable. I've been thrown away so many times, starting with my mother, and I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel. Both my kids say they will probably never have kids. And if they do, that will just be more pain, if they live far away and I have no money to go visit all the time. I just went on a vacation in April and it helped a ton, but then I came home and within a month I felt the same again. Chris, I wish my son could say those words to me...I know he worries a lot about how depressed and unfocused I am now, I have never been like this in h

Listen I know everything seems bad right now but eventually everything will get better. If your thinking that you are not needed anymore just remember your children will always need no matter how old they get. I know if anything happened to my mom no matter what age I am I would just die. Nothing can replace a mother's love and once that is gone you become incomplete inside. So don't think negatively just keep saying everything will work out for me in the end. Listen to me people have it worse than you, but they fight for a better life and they get it. So fight for a better life and you to will get it, you can do anything if you put your mind to it.