Friend in severe depression and I can't help anymore...how to break away?!
Question:
Friend in severe depression and I can't help anymore...how to break away?
Additional Details
1 week ago
he is really bringing me down.
Answers:
You're in a tough spot and you need not feel badly about setting a limit. It's really hard when you're a helping professional to know when to back off for your own sake as well as for theirs. I would agree with bmac in terms of setting some conditions for a continued relationship and I'd suggest explaining your rationale as both the need to not enable the person to avoid getting the intensive treatment they need as well as your own need to take a break. It isn't as though you'd be abandoning him, but rather encouraging him to seek the level of care he needs and then continuing to be there to support his seeking help.
I have a very close friend who was once in a very abusive relationship and I had to do something very similar-I refused to allow her to come and visit me with him in tow, but made it clear she was welcome to come and stay with me-I even bought her the ticket-if she was willing to leave him and end the self-destructive behavior. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but also the wisest as she realized I could no longer support self-destructive behavior and she got the help she needed and left him.
I would also suggest that you tell him clearly and directly that in order for the two of you to continue a relationship as friends, that you need to have other things you can share besides his depression as that is what makes a friendship so valuable to both people.
Good Luck!