Depression. I need to help myself and my girlfriend?!

Depression. I need to help myself and my girlfriend?

I have had numerous encounters with serious depression. I've been bulimic and anorexic, as well as a big time cutter. I'm completely done with all those now, however I still have serious depression bouts. My girlfriend (lesbian) does not agree with me taking anti-depressants, and I completely agree, I come down off of the pills very VERY hard and am even more depressed afterwards. I feel our relationship is falling apart because of my unstable emotions. There are some small things that (as far as I know) get to me that she does. She is a smoker, which I do not smoke and don't enjoy seeing / smelling it, but it doesn't occur to bother me so much...plus i'm scared to death to tell her to quit. I love her so much, and I feel like I could honestly have a life together with her - but there is something wrong with my emotions. She tries endlessly to make me feel better, but i'm so insecure about myself, it's hard to believe her comments. Please, someone help me. What could be wrong with me?

1 week ago
I am a female. (Just a clarification) And I am lesbian, me and her are a couple =]. This question pertains to me personally, i'm not asking it for her. She has had some personal depression issues as well, so she understands what i'm going through and doesn't get angry or doubt me. She just asks me what is wrong, and I personally do not know...it's like I can't explain my feelings because I don't even know how i'm feeling...

Hi!

First of all, don't over analyse or beat yourself up over the way you feel or the way things have been in the past.

I would start by having a 'clear the air' talk. If you both truly love each other then you should be able to have a frank discussion where you both listen to each other without things turning into a 'blame game'.

Put your cards on the table, speak honestly and listen to her point of view with things. I'm sure an open talk will help and could be the start of a better life for both of you. It's always a herd thought to have such a conversation but in hindsight you will feel so much better for doing it.

As far as treating the depression goes, you are right to be concerned about anti depressants. I used them in the past and had very bad side effects. I believe there are much more effective natural ways to combat depression.

Have a look here for some ideas - http://www.self-help-mental-health-depre...

Don't be afraid of trying anything once - you never know, you may just find something that does the trick for you.

Good luck to you both!