Is there something wrong with me?!

Is there something wrong with me?

Or is it just a stage of grief?

I am 15 years old and my father passed away a little over a year ago. I still feel pretty numb yet I still hurt so so much. I don't cry about it though. Is something wrong with me?

Like I try not to think about him, is that bad? Or should I respond to my feelings rather than chase them away? Because I hate going into the sad states to where I don't want to do anything at all. When I do cry, it is just a few tears and I'm good.

When I am out some place public, and I see or hear about something that reminds me of him, I start to get teary eyed and I have to hold it in. Do I want to cry more because I am in public and when I am alone it is easier to deal with my thoughts and emotions? I feel bad for not crying over him being gone but that doesn't mean I am not horribly sad, because I am. Or is this just a normal state of grief? Is it just my own way of coping? Because I refuse to think about it. I am female, by the way, if that would make a difference.Ty

1 week ago
To the Kris person, no, I am NOT getting over it. I am not an adult who lost their parent, I am a kid who lost their parent. I am anything BUT getting over his death. I am still numb so there is more to come. My pain is incredible and it is going to take YEARS AND YEARS to finally deal with this. Sorry but I belive that you are wrong. Thanks anyway.

My father died when I was about your age. I reacted the same way as you. It turned out, it wasn't the best.

It would be better to set aside a little "alone time" every night, or every couple of days, to spend "feeling" things about him. Allow 1/2 hour or so. Just be alone & think whatever thoughts about him, good or bad, memories, etc. Then cry all you can. I think that will help you get over him, better.