I feel like I'm wasting my summer.........?!

I feel like I'm wasting my summer.........?

and I'm not even there!!I feel like I'm wasting my summer,because I have derealization and i dont ever feel alive,and i feel like soemone's controling everything I do.Everything feels like a dream to me!! I read about this online,and it describes how I feel all the time.I can't remember anything!!It feels like the day never happened!!i wanna have fun and feel like I used to!!My mom keeps telling me to "get it under control".But it's only getting worse,and she won't take me to the doctors!!I'm soo mad at her!!II've felt like this for 6 months!!Advice????It's only getting worse!!!

it seems like you have depression. you mom needs to take you to a physologist so you can talk about this and treat it. she probably isnt taking you yet because she doesnt think its a big deal, so you need to tell her more about it.