Anybody ever felt like they had no alternative but death?!

Anybody ever felt like they had no alternative but death?

For almost a year now I have been sober, and drug free... It has been really hard to do that, as I am 31 and have been boozing and loosing for 19 years... Since I have been clean, alot of good things have come my way, like, I have a job. But things ghave been tough at work ,and I don't know how much longer they will keep me. If I lose my job, I will have absolutely nothing. Getting a job was a long hard road as I have a criminal record. I don't think that anyone would hire me if I lost this job. All I have wanted to do is get up and be the best Dad for my kids, who I haven't seen in 6 years. Their Mom has made it almost impossible for me to see them... I just don't know what to do... My best friend is my ex-GF who I have some feelings for still, and she is saying that she thinks we should part completely from each other. That she feels that she cannot forget the mistakes of the past and that they prevent her from being my friend. I don't have anywhere to turn to now... :' (

Dear Jimmy....in many ways I have been in your situation. I boozed for a lot of years and tried to medicate myself out of my depression. I refused to take prescription meds for it because I was sure that was for losers. If you go on Yahoo and search under "The Last Temptation of George Petrie" you can see how my life spiraled out of control until I lost everything and almost lost my life. I finally got things turned around when I started taking Prozac. My biggest regret in life is that I didn't start sooner....My life would have been a lot happier and simpler. If you feel like you have no alternative but death then you feel the same way I did at one point. I decided to give myself one last chance (after a failed suicide attempt) and take meds. Today I am not in a perfect situation and probably never will be but I have a new job and am able to cope with the day to day bull. Best wishes to you