Grieving help?!

Grieving help?

nearly a year ago my father was killed... gunshot wound to the head... it was suicide. my mom cheated on him (well was in the process of it, she met another man) my dad, after building his life round the kids and my mother, was crushed, because that was all taken away... im still an emotional disaster as the night we found out that he had died. when do i stop grieving and hurting so bad? i feel bad b/c my mom already moved on and didnt shed a tear whereas i am left standing here a ball of emotional disaster. when will this stop?!

I've been where you are somewhat after one of my friend's committed suicide. I was grieving for a period of time and I was also angry and didn't know why. So let me share with you one of the reasons why your grieving is made that much more difficult.

It is because the act of suicide on the part of your father was a totally senseless act. See, as human beings, we strive to find order within chaos. Had your father been murdered and the murderer caught, you could blame his killer for his death and you would find closure. Had he died at the hands of a drunk driver, you could blame the drunk driver and you would find closure. But who is there to blame for your father's death? There is no closure because there is no one to blame. And you are then plagued with anger at his selfishness and questions about whether or not you could do anything to prevent his death. How close am I?

There is only one way to get over your grief and that is to walk through it for however long it takes. I know that may not be the answer you were looking for, but it's the truth. Will it ever stop? No, it may not stop, but it'll get easier and I speak from experience. Every anniversary that goes by to mark the death of your father will open up old wounds again, be it the anniversary of his death or on holidays such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. But it WILL get easier. That I promise. Please accept my sincerest condolences.