Iam suffering every bit of my life because of unstable nature and thoughts.?!


Question:

Iam suffering every bit of my life because of unstable nature and thoughts.?

i was married to a very short man against my wish 10 years ago.i was not sure wether i led life with him or not and neither had the courage to divorce in this dilemma i aborted the pregnencies.after one year i any how get adjusted,began to love him & try to conceive by taking medicines but failed and again tentions began .after every fight we get separated for months and years.
now also we are living separately since two years.my father is forcing me to take any decision.sometime i agreed to go back but the next moment reverse my decision.this alternate thoughts came when i live with him also.some times i feel hatered towards him ,having sex with him also causes me crazy but some times iam o.k. usually when i think of early marri days i get confused( sex out of force with out my will because i hated my husband physical appearence)
now also iam confused wether to remain with him or not .sometimes it seems easy the other time it seems unbearable. i want to live with him but afraid .


Answers:

I think, from your description, you don't like your husband and are fighting with him because of his appearance. Unless he is abusing you physically, or through mean conversations, I don't think that you should hate him. My main advice on your problem is to remember this sentence: "Do not judge a book by its cover." In other words, even if the book's appearance is ugly, torned and ripped, the content inside of the book could be very great. Same with your husband: His appearance might be bad, but his heart and his mind and his love towards you might be great. Before you start to leave from him, or go to abort when you are pregnant, just think about these questions:
1. has he ever abused you, physically or through conversations?
2. Has he ever acted like he doesn't like you?
3. Is his inside nice than you think?
If the answers to all of these questions are yes, then you should stay. If there is atleast one no in any of the questions, talk with him about it. If he refuses to talk, talk with your closest friend, or family and talk with your frend/family, and your husband together. I'm sure this will help. Hope your problems will be over.




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