Bipolar - Distance with parent?!


Question:

Bipolar - Distance with parent?

My mom has bp and we are currently not speaking due to a series of terrible behaviors that ocurred while she was not on meds. She feels as if she is the victim and we don't want her in our life. She thinks she is proving a point by not speaking to us. During this time I have had a baby. She called me once she found out I had the baby...1 month ago...and i invited her to the hospital to visit. Since then I have sent her 2 ecards (thank you for flowers & Happy Birthday). She has not responded and has made no effort to reconnect. She used to be a very big part of our life.

Just wondering if anyone has experience dealing with distance. How did everything work out? I am not sure whether to think this is temporary or perminant.

Additional Details

2 weeks ago
I should add...prior to the distance i did take her in for an eval and she would not accept her diagnosis or get help. I feel like I have done everything I can do to help her.

2 weeks ago
She was originally diagnosed with bp 37 years ago has been hosptitalized etc. She chose the doctor we went to for the eval. The objective was to get her back on meds.

Prior to my involvement, I did meet w/ several drs to get advice on how to help her. So I feel my actions were good.


Answers:

Taking her in for an evaluation is very insulting to anyone. Do you know how often bipolar disorder is diagnosed? It's very over diagnosed these days. You basically said to her, "I don't like you, but your my mother, so I'm going to justify why with a doctor." Especially these days, medicine is a business. A doctor isn't going to let you walk out of his or her office without a diagnosis or prescription. Whatever your intentions or reasons were, that's the way it's seen and in some ways the way it is. Bipolar disorder is often more pleasant than the treatment.

You screwed up. This distance you created with her might be long term or not, but there's nothing you can do now. You hurt your mother by doing this, whether or not you believe she truly needed the help doesn't matter, and now there's nothing you can do to take it back.




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