Why do i feel my lifes being controlled?!

Why do i feel my lifes being controlled?

im 30 years old,& im a bpd sufferer & im waiting for therapy.
my ultimate goal & ambition is to emigrate from the uk to either the states or canada...im not sure how ill do it,& im aware its very difficult.....but whenever i talk about my hopes & dreams to people,& especially my dad, he always says the grass looks greener on the otherside,& that i need to build a life here in the uk..& i get so enraged & angry because i dont wanna stay here,& im aware the grass can look greener but i still no what i want in life and where i wanna go....i want to go far away & build a new life in the countries ive mentioned....& when my dad & others argue with me about where im trying to get in life,& what i want, it feels like their trying to control my life or somehow stop me from achieving what i want..i dont wanna stay in the uk, i wanna emigrate & find a partner & build a life in ca or the us.my dad knows alot of people & i feel hes somehow controlling my life stopping me doing what i want to do

2 weeks ago
if i knew for sure my life was being controlled....i dont think i would be able to control myself

I can understand your frustration in not getting the support you need from your dad, but he may just be looking out for your best interests right now. That said though, you are an adult and you can make your own choices. It may feel like you're being controlled, but you're only being controlled by others if you let them.

One reason that your dad and others may be trying to talk you out of making a major move is because of your bpd and the fact that you're waiting for therapy. Making a major move, especially to another country, can be very stressful even for those without psychological issues. So it may be a good idea to first get some treatment and get some counseling from a therapist. Then, if you still really want to move, you can go ahead and do so, but at least you'll have started on therapy. Your therapist may also be able to help you find a therapist in the place that you'll be moving to. The important thing is that you need to take care of yourself first, before you make a major change in your life.

I also suggest that when you talk to your dad about your plans and goals, to do so in a calm manner. Sometimes people can regress around their parents and become overly submissive or else argumentative. But if you talk to your dad in a calm, adult-like way, then he may be more apt to listen to you and not feel that he has to run your life. Losing your cool and becoming enraged won't help anything and will only convince him and others that you aren't ready for such a big change in your life.

Like I said, you're an adult and you can do what you want with your life. But it's best to do it in a way that is well planned, reasonable and healthy. I wish you all the best and hope things work out well for you.