I get too much angry on my nice son. I hurt my child a lot. Pl. advice.?!

I get too much angry on my nice son. I hurt my child a lot. Pl. advice.?

I am 41 years old. Have lovely wife and only child, a son, 12 years old.

I am a post graduate Engineer and having very high expectation from my child in studies. I am very short tempered personality. My son is too good in music (playing guitar, Key-board, vocal). But is too poor in studies.

This is also, I think because of my nature. I still beat him while teaching him Math /science. I shout lot on him. Tell all heart-breaking words to him. He is too scare of me. I think my child has lost self confidence due to this. He has become timid child. He can not face people. He has become conscious. Even, while playing instrument, he closes all window/door and play in lonely situation.

My wife is also upset with all this. She always tries to protect my child. But I get angry on her. I too hate myself for this behavior. Each time I determine not to hurt my child, but again when I take his studies, I go wild. I think I need some counseling. Please advice me with some good tips.

Good for you for seeking help! I think that you are really brave! The first step towards change is the desire to change. It sounds like you love your family and you want the best for them. I think you deserve a lot of support right now, are there people who can help you around this issue? Maybe you could talk to your wife about your desire to change the family dynamics. Another option is discussing this with a trusted friend. If you don't feel comfortable talking with them, you could try a religious figure such as a priest, or a local therapist or counselor. You can go to the psychology today website at http://psychologytoday.com/ to find one. I wish you best of luck in resolving this difficult situation, and I know you are a loving and caring person!