What the hells wrong with me?!

What the hells wrong with me?

today is the second day i've taken off from work, i hate the place and the majority of the people i work with and couldnt face it this morning so much so i was physically sick. my whole world is a falling apart at the seams i've allways been a rock for others, me and my missus are having serious family problems. my kid sister has to be induced tomorrow and its pretty serious (neiman pick syndrome) her first born has it as well, type B. i'm taking a panic attack as i write this. my boss has phoned twice and i've ignored the phone. i dont know what i hate more, myself or life. i've hit rock bottom please somebody tell me everythings going to be allright. i cant afford to give up on myself too many people rely on me.

2 weeks ago
edit: if i could impart the one shining light in my life on you it is this; whenever we have broken glass my missus double bags it and puts masking tape across the bag and writes "dear mr binman please be wary broken glass inside" before we put the bag of broken glass in the bin. ive seen her empty her purse into a beggars cup. i'm such an asshole what did i do to deserve her? what wrong did she do in a previous life to deserve me?

you sir need a holiday. if you dont take one then you will have a breakdown. being someones rock is all well and good but who's your rock? remove the pressure from your life. the only person who should be relying on you is you. you sister can take care of herself. harsh? maybe. but its nothing she hasnt coped with before. you need a time out. everyone does at sometime or another. write a list of all the things in your life you can be grateful for. look for another job. just the fact that your looking and will soon be rid of the hateful place and people you work with will get you through the working week, although there are hateful ppl everywhere in every job. you need to relax. you dont elaborate on your family problems but since you are a rock to others i'm assuming you also mean your mrs, well its time for her to give a little payback. let someone else do the worrying for a change, your off limits for at least a week, if nothing changes go and see the doctor, dont do the man thing of well i'm not dying so i dont need a doctor cos that wont help. people ask you for help and you dont think any less of them do you, so dont delay in asking it for yourself. good luck. x