I cant handle this because.............?!

I cant handle this because.............?

i have social anxiety, and i have huge dreams that seems impossible.
i want to be an actress/model, but i am too shy, and probably when im on stage, i shake, and look like im going to break or puke. why do many people stare at me though? everytime i panic, they just seem to get amazed, and their eyes get bigger.
panic attacks make me shake, sweat, and get nervous. it sucks because im talented. i play the guitar,i can sing, and most of all i can act! my drama teacher hates me to death probably cause of my shyness. i have no idea, but in my school its a living h*ll and teachers treat me wrong cause i have social anxiety (they dont know i have it, but have witnessed my behavior) and it sucks because i come home crying everyday. i cant go out in public, and i hate people because i always feel like they are watching/judging me. what can i do to change this? i want to be an actress or model or singer, but how can i stop thinking what people are thinking of me. i always feel like im judged

lots of performers have anxiety.
there was an excellent article in the new yorker last year about stage fright and how people deal with it. it's not a light matter, you will see by reading it that lots of people have severe problems with it... and yet are great at what they do.

here is a link to a version someone typed into a blog... i highly suggest that you read it.

http://gwenergy.livejournal.com/164161.h...

p.s. the actor stephen fry, who is mentioned in the beginning, is my total hero.