I need a doctor that can help?!

I need a doctor that can help?

i need a doctor to tell me what wrong with me. I dont want to feel so angry any more I dont want to kill my mother(High blood pressure or heart attack) I dont mean to act out the way I do but it just happens. I need help and want help but I dont want to have to be baker acted again to get help. That place is a nightmare. I just want to get better. I dont have a job yet so I dont have any money, my mother can barely keep her house so she has 9 people living in her house. Im going mad. I dont want to spend the rest of my life in and out of mental hospitals. I would be glad to take a pill or hypnotize I just gotta get rid of these feelings of anger and rage. Someone please help me.

2 weeks ago
As far as talking to someone I trust. I dont trust anyone anymore. I tried to talk to my sister and she went and ran her mouth off. My mother recently baker acted me so I cant really trust her either if I say something wrong she'll baker act me again. I gave up all my friendships because I didnt want the criminals I hung out with around my family and I didnt want a very contagious STD around them either.

As far as writing in a notebook. I dont have any privacy, people like to read my thoughts, so what if I write about you. Your too much of a bit** to say anything to your face.

Unfortunately I know that I can go to my county and thats what I've been doing for the past month, but they arent helping me the way I'd like to I do admit I have a race issue so having a black therapist that takes offense to what I have to say isant helping. I want her to understand were I'm coming from but she defends her ancestors and I can understand that but thats not what I'm here for.

Thanks

I am not a doctor, but when I was young I had anger issues also. What really helped me was to write in a note book. I would close myself off from the world and pour my heart out into the note book, and believe it or not I felt better after. You can also meditate and concentrate on controling your energy. Make that a focus in your life (controling your energy) it helps. It is very hard for you right now, because you have so many homones roaring through your system. This will get better as you get older. But for now all you can do is try to get the anger out on paper, and concentrate on controlling your energy. When you feel yourself getting upset, and the blood raging in you - talk to yourself tell yourself to concentrate on controlling your energy. It may sound silly, but it does help,

I wish you the best of luck!