Am i going mad in the head?!

Am i going mad in the head?

im 50 years old but i got alot going in my life right now.but i feel like i have let my kids down.and its like someone telling me to take all my pills im not felling sorry for my self its just i cant give them wot thay need .and im wasting there lifes as i suffer alot of pain 24\7 and my mine is saying im not good and im holding them back is it me or am i a nut.i have rang for help but was told to wait till someone rings that was 2 weeks ago ?

You're not going mad, you're depressed. Bad news is you feel like crap and the world's falling apart on you. Good news is it can be fixed.

I'll bet if you asked your kids how they would feel if you were gone forever, they'd all vote to keep you around, even if they might sometimes feel you let them down. None of us have the right answers for our kids all the time, some of us never have them. I suspect you love your kids to distraction. The worst thing you could ever do to them is take yourself out of their lives.

I think you're in a low period of depression right now, it will pass and you'll wonder how you could have thought of ending it all. You'll be grateful you didn't when you spend happy times with your kids, even happier times with your grandkids. That doesn't help much right now,I know, because it's practically impossible to imagine happy things coming into your life when you're in the middle of a bout of depression.

I said there was good news....depression is easily treated, but the hardest part is for you to take yourself to your doctor and explain how you feel. Tell the whole picture, no matter how horrible it is, and don't leave without a clear plan to deal with your depression OK? Hope this helps.
Oh and here's a virtual hug, I think you could use one.((((( ))))