Im going to kill myself?!


Question:

Im going to kill myself?

my life is a living hell. to start off, my parents are seperated, and during the summer i live with my mom. she decided to marry a ********, so i live with him too. he has a son, and my mom also has two other kids besides me (all from different dads). My mom always agrees with her husband, and he makes my life hell. he constantly calls me fat and tells his friends im fat, and my family. and all they do is laugh. they dont try to help me. he tells me i am spoiled. if i was spoiled, i'd have clothes (ok...we have money to buy clothes, but they waste it at the bars and all...my dad wont buy me clothes because my mom owes him over $700, and he says when she pays him, he will buy me clothes, and she wont buy me clothes because she has no money...she wasted it on beer) So yeah. I have nothing. At my dads life is beautiful. Everything is perfect, but by court orders, I HAVE to be at my moms during the summer. To me my dad is all powerful and can do anything.

But this is just the past.

Additional Details

2 weeks ago
Just now, my mom, her husband, and one of my moms kids and her husbands kid and i were all supposed to go to a tractor pull. we own a jeep that sits 3. and i just took a shower and my hair would get poofy if i rode with them. so i told them i wouldnt go. they said w.e and left me here alone. i came inside and started crying. i still am actually. i cant take this abuse anymore. they think im some ragdoll they can just leave behind? i know for a fact they have a loaded gun, and i know where it is. and i seriously want to just die right now. but yet, i really want to call my dad. i want to tell him that i cant stand it here anymore. i hate it here. its soooooo hard on me just being here. I WANT TO LEAVE. but it is EXTREMELY hard for me to talk to my dad, so i dont know what to say. im very depressed right now. ive though of just shooting myself, ODing, or drinking it all away. im sooo confused. i dont know what to do.

2 weeks ago
I am not fat. Here are pics to prove it.
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h179/j...
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h179/j...
And I am generally a happy person:
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h179/j...
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h179/j...
I am 5'7 and weigh 130.
I have a history of cutting, but i really dont want to go to that again.
The ONLY good thing about my moms is the computer, its my escape. At my dads I can't go on MySpace, and VERY RARELY MSN. : ' (

2 weeks ago
I am 15. ...........

2 weeks ago
I'm thinking of dancing around my house to old boy bands. but that just reminds me of the good times i had that i will never have again.


Answers:

Hey kiddo, summer is halfway over! Your mom's husband is just a pile of dog sh*t, who has a problem with self esteem. He's obviously JEALOUS of you & dad's relationship! Tell your dad! I mean, really tell him. Tell him, when your at mom's, you feel like suicide and have cut! He needs to know the severity of it all, ok? I wish my daughter would have told me everything that went on on her court ordered visitations. I could have made it better or had them STOPPED! She went thru alot of the same humiliating crap you are going thru at the hands of an EVIL step-mother! And the ex just let it happen. My daughter only told me after she was grown. Tell dad now and be strong!!! Your dad loves you and WILL listen!! Hugs to you sweetie! ooooooooooooooooooooooooo




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