I suffer from manic depression. This condition makes me feel so bitter and resen!

I suffer from manic depression. This condition makes me feel so bitter and resentful at times.?

I am not a hateful person at all. I feel a lot for people and have received a lot of kindness in return. No one knows that I am bipolar other than my family and no one suspects either. However, I am VERY ambitious. Being bipolar has left me powerless sometimes to work as hard as I want. I am often paralyzed by it and can only wait for each episode to pass.

I see colleagues who are hardworking and getting to where they want to be. I know at the end of the day that they will live out their dreams. I on the other hand will never be able to live out mine because of my condition. It hurts so much to have big dreams and little hope.

I have been getting professional help for 6 years now and am on medication. I have come a long way but feel that I will always be bogged down by this illness.

I am Bipolar1. Talk about frustrations. I understand how you feel. I want to go to college (I'm 30 now). I want a career. But with bipolar it seems so out of reach. I can't even keep a job because of the cycling. I'm not medicated and haven't been in a year. My marriage is on the rocks because of it. My husband is tired of the constant mood swings and doesn't even talk to me anymore. He just tiptoes around me now. My entire family does now. I get so tired of hearing "Stay away from Mommy right now". I have suicidal thoughts from time to time, and thoughts of just going away.

I have an appointment for July 18. I know there is hope and someday things will be better. Just don't let go of those dreams. And try as hard as you need to, things will happen!

I would love to talk with others who have the same problems as me. Feel free to email me.