I am planning a suicide!?!

I am planning a suicide!?

i have started planning my suicide to co-inside with my birthday this year (about a month away).. it seems everything in my life is always a mess and always causes me a lot of pain... i have many regrets in my life.. but what has caused me to want to end it for real this time (i have tried many times).. is that i think my hubby might be cheating on me with a 19? yr old girl he works with, (he is 39).. i read some of his txt messages to her, even asking when her birthday was cause he had found something special for her.. it breaks my heart when i read these.. her birthday is only 3 days after mine.. he never talks to me the way he talks to this girl.. he just told me then that he was going over to a friends house, when i went out the front i found an item (table) missing, and he told me a few days ago that this girl wanted it.. so i can assume he has gone off to her house!? he recently went to the river with work mates and decided to stay the night there with them, and she was there!

2 weeks ago
it isnt' just about him.. my whole life has been filled with pain, from being sexually abused, to being kicked out of home, i feel no one loves me anymore.. i am worthless.. i have borderline personality disorder, i have spent the last 20mths in and out of psych wards.. and i am still the same messed up person.. i even have a psychiatrist who i see, that i dont' think i want to go and see anymore.. just can't do it.. my life has been one painful memory after the next.. seriously! and i thought my marriage was perfect, and now that too is fading.. i feel there is nothing left!

Don't let one stupid prick ruin your chance at happiness. Speak to him, and if you arn't satisfied with his answers, leave him. No man is worth committing suicide over. Maybe seeing a councellor would help you.