I hate life and it never seems to get better...?!

I hate life and it never seems to get better...?

I hate my life, nothing is right, everything is always going wrong. I feel as if I am having a breakdown. No amount of tears are helping me and it seems as though there is nothing that can fix anything in my life anymore.

I can't continue like this and I don't know what to do. I feel as if everything is so completely out of my control and it realistically is.

I am in therapy, under care of pcp and psych and on meds. I am also Bipolar and f*** (excuse me)

it all just really completely stinks and I am close to the bottom. I have been there before and that is some where I can never go again...it is a danger to my life (2 previous suicide attempts).

I am trying to keep my head above water, but the fight is just becoming too much for me. And my God, someone please tell me how to stop the tears.

I just hate life, I really do.

Thanks for listening and letting me vent!

3 weeks ago
Yes, you are right change. But the issue is I can only change what is in my control and all of these things in my life going wrong are out of my control.

Husband is in Africa, stuck on business, got robbed, etc...

Someone the other night shot a bullet thru my window aiming for my head missed me by about 3 inches

My son has Asperger's

With hubby gone I am financially strapped

Paranoid schiz neighbor who esclated and thinks I am out to get het...dangerous

Divorced from a nasty man who was abusive in all areas

3 weeks ago
I don't really see much I can change here and the list just goes on and on and on.

3 weeks ago
Honestly, I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am a very strong person and it is only lately that I am seeking support here.

3 weeks ago
I am not focusing on my mental health issues. Yes there are times we all do, but if you see my partial list...Bipolar and such is not there. Maybe I should not have listed that.

Oh my - you are at about your wits end, aren't you. Do not fear, help has arrived; and I'm not talking about myself here.

Let me tell you where I'm coming from, before I tell you where I'm going. I am not a religious man, but I am spiritual in that I do believe in God, and I talk to him on a regular basis. In fact, I talk to him every time I damned well please! I don't think he gets tired of hearing from me because I speak mostly of thanks, and gratitude; and, I have certainly survived some pretty strange events in my years. Now, more to the point of my reply:

I believe the Universe is comprised of two energies; one being positive, and one being negative. I also believe that the positive energy has far greater power than does the negative. That's not to say there is more of it, just that it has greater power. However, the negative SEEMS to be more pronounced because it is SO pronounced. Think of it this way. It's easy to take the good times; they are fun and enjoyable, and they tend to roll off of us like water on a duck. But it's hard to take the bad times because they suck, you don't want to have anything to do with them, and they seem to stick like glue. Therefore, when bad times, or difficulties present themselves, THEY are pronounced and tend to overshadow all of the good energy that is constantly flowing around, and in and out of you. Here's the trick: Do not ignore the negative energy, because it is there and needs tending to; however, pay more attention to the positive energy that is even more powerful!

I highly recommend a book entitled, Power vs Force, by Dr. David R. Hawkins. He has all of the "Ds" in his credentials, i.e. M.D, PhD.... Anyway, this book is an easy read. There may be a few passages that you might have to read two or three times over, but on the whole he makes himself clear to those of us who are laymen. This book will give you a perspective about all that has been, all that is, and all that can be, like you have never known before.

I just checked with Amazon.com and they have this book in paperback for: new at $10+small change, and used at $6+large change, both with some small shipping charge.

Do yourself, your family and friends a huge favor here... make a RATIONAL decision to buy and study (notice I didn't say read) this book before you make any IRRATIONAL decisions.

God bless you, and be with you! If you let him, I KNOW he will be! God IS love, and you need not take my word for it... look at all of those before me who have responded to your call for help in like kind.

You have my email address. I have a plethora of first hand, personal experiences I can give you to back up my beliefs. As I said, "I have experienced, survived, and later thrived following some pretty strange things and happenings in my mere 59 year moments in this life.