My Friend is really depressed about her weight; what can I say?!
Question:
My Friend is really depressed about her weight; what can I say?
My friend is really is depressed about her weight. It's all she thinks about, she never wants to go outside, she doesn't want her family to see her, she thinks everyone is talking about her weight, she doesn't even want to go out to lunch with her future husband, because he is really skinny and so she feels bad for him.
She is overweight, and she has gained a lot over the last year but to me, if your weight doesn't bother you, then who cares how much you weigh. But it obviously does bother her a lot and her amount of self confidence is crashing because of recent events about this matter.
I don't mind at all talking to her about it. I want to talk to her about it. I want to help her but I do not know what to say. I've tried to help her with situtions before and I always seem to get stumped in words. I never actually help the situation. But I'm still going to try. What could I say to help in this matter?
Thanks for any help.
Answers:
I commend you for wanting to help your friend. That is very thoughtful. You don't mention whether you are over weight yourself or not. If you aren't then any attempt to talk about weight issues with your friend will be very difficult since she will think you don't know how she is feeling and she will also think you are just trying to rub it in her face that she needs to lose weight. Even though you may be acting sincere sometimes that is just not enough. My suggestion in this case is tell her what it is that you do in order to stay thin. Take her to the gym with you, go walking with her, go to Weight Watchers with her. Show her that you aren't just another person trying to make her feel bad. Participating in these types of activities together is a good motivator. If you also have weight that you are trying to lose and can definitely sympathize with how she must feel then strike up a bet with her. Make the winnings be something she can't refuse, a trip, new clothes, or even money. Its worth a try, not only will you have a new work out buddy...but she will also have one too.