I don't know my problem?!


Question:

I don't know my problem?

But lately I have been basically crying myself to sleep. At night, everything comes out and I don't even know what I'm crying about. The smallest things upset me. I can't get to sleep for hours. I don't have desire to eat anymore. I just think all these crazy thoughts and make myself more upset.

The only time I am happy is when I am with my boyfriend. My best friend use to make me happy, but now I just feel myself growing angry at her for the tiny problems. I feel like I have lost alot of friends, but yet I don't want anyone else in my life because I can't stand general people anymore.

My parents love me, but I've always felt like there not exactly parents figures. Doing exactly the opposite of what I should grow up and do. And when I do something wrong, my father hits me.

I don't know what has gotten into me, but I just feel like a crazy person. All I do is write perspectives of life and other people.

I dont' want to have to come to yahoo for help, but I just can't talk.


Answers:

I can't tell you what your problem is because only you would inevitably know that but I can give you a few ideas. I am graduating this year from a psych degree so I'm not just making things up. You said your father hits you so it may be possible that that is why you are so close to your boyfriend. you may be looking for what your father isn't giving you. a feeling of security, being protected, loved, cared for, bieng someones little princess. Those are all things that a father figure is supposed to give but perhaps you arent really recieving them or you are rejecting anything positive your father gives you because he almost cancels it out by hitting you when you do something wrong. Spanking is for children when they do not know how to communicate and its not supposed to be painful, just like a warning. So know that it IS wrong for your father to hit you although he may not realize or understand that. just so you know that you are not upset for no reason. Also you may be pulling away from everyone around you and attaching to that one person because you are trying to fill that void up so much that nothing else satisfies you as much. You are also likely suffering from depression which would explain why you have lost interest in your old friends have changes in your sleep patterns, and eating patterns. My suggestions are first force yourself to put some space between your boyfriend and yourself. believe me I have also been through this since I was a little girl (depression, withdrawal and attachment to a father figure). That attatchment doesnt form healthy relationships and usually after 3 months or so the relationship ends because the other person feels "suffocated" Im not telling you to break up. But make sure you give him his days where he could just be with his friends and or family. Don't just assume you are seeing him every day but plan ahead like "oh do you want to do something on friday" and leave the other days open to hang out with your old friend or something else. Make sure the relationship is balanced which means he is giving to you as much as you are giving to him. No more no less. keep it simple. As for your friend, your relationship may be going sour because you may be displacing the anger you have towards your parents at her or even because you may see in her some things you dont like about yourself and unconciously it may bother you. try doing things with her that are neutral such as going to see a movie or bowling, not just sitting around one or the others house. That way you have fun and leave no room for petty arguements. Remember also to choose your battles. Think before you argue with someone "Is this worth loosing this person" or "will this really make a difference tomorrow". As for your depression if you persist with the changes in mood, diet, sleep, and crying for more than 2 months talk to your family doctor. You don't even have to tell your parents why just tell them you need a physical and you can ask to talk to the doctor in private and he cant tell your parents anything unless you are at risk to yourself. Then he will probably suggest you to see a psychologist. A psychologist is really good because its just a regular person like you or me who you can talk to about ANYTHING and that person will not get mad, sad, or anything and will NEVER judge you. There is NOTHING you will say that they havent heard or studied before so they will not make a face or be shocked or condemn you. A psychologist is trying to help you understand yourself they arent trying to find something they are trying to get YOU to find something. hope this helps.
And by the way... you aren't alone I used to cry myself to sleep and I am a leader of a youth group and have found hundreds of other teenagers who do it every night too... sometimes its just your body is changing and your emotions are up and down, other times its cause you have too let all these feelings out and thats the only way you know how to do it. It can be a very healthy thing. so think of it as therapy. Get a journal to write all your feelings. Then after a few weeks read back on what you wrote. It will help alot believe me. look into yourself not others.




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