How to deal with rejection from a person with severe bipolar?!
Question:
How to deal with rejection from a person with severe bipolar?
I met someone... we got along so great (he was gushing about me).. now he's switched off. He's rejected me and broke my heart and is not responsive. I need to move on and heal. all of my friends and family say it is not me but his sickness. How do I heal without blaming myself? I know this is because of his severe disorder but I am so hurt. Please don't respond if you are going to say mean things... i feel so fragile as-is. I know he is very ill now... I got attached and now I'm hurting. How do I cope? thanks.
Answers:
You wouldn't blame yourself if he was diagnosed with a medical condition would you? This is the same type of thing, except that it involves emotions, behaviors and thoughts. If he truly has Bipolar Disorder, his discontinuation of interest in you has absolutely nothing to do with who you are or what you did.
If you understand that he is ill and are still blaming yourself, you would also probably benefit from some therapy. Inappropriately attributing guilt and worthlessness to oneself is a symptom of depression, and it's a symptom worth getting rid of. How much time has it been since this happened? You may be going through a normal course of sadness resulting from a broken heart, but if this has been going on for awhile it might mean that you also have some sensitivities that psychotherapy can address.
Has he actually been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder? Other related disorders include Narcissistic Personality Disorder, in which people are overly consumed with their own status, image, etc., and will treat their romantic interests amazingly until they find something to devalue, after which the significant other gets kicked to the curb without empathy or responsiveness, like you indicate.