How to gain back mental strength?!

How to gain back mental strength?

i used to be mentally strong. i suppose if you wanted me to clarify what i meant, i mean in the sense that i believe humans have the capability to use percentages of their will power.

however, most only use the lower half (ones who believe in external control/factors) whilst the mentally strong ones can exhert up to the higher percentanges of their will power (internal control/factors). extreme self-belief.

after stopping the pot and going to the gym and eating healthily everyday, i'm still finding myself not as in control as i would like to be. activity wise, what can i do to increase my mental strength? i used to be assertive but now i'm just aggressive. (to the point of obnoxiousness) it's something i can't control as much as i'd like to. it's just plain random rage (which i suspect is caused by the anxiety-paranoia, which i thought i overcame).

if you're going to suggest meditation, at least give me a technique to follow. breathing in and out doesn't seem to do anything for me.

2 weeks ago
ah well, i already have a few weird hobbies involving creativity. i like to compose/arrange big orchestrations. i suppose it's creative but doesn't really stimulate my mind that much as it used to.

i used to do mtb & tkd (martial arts) too but stopped. haven't been able to get back into it. nowadays, i'm just into running loads but still... i feel like i'm missing something.

i'd really like to get my personality to the point where it's seen as perfect by others. ok, so i know perfection is impossible and one should just be happy being themselves without having to please. but how can i explain it? i just like being seen as 'perfect'. hehe, bit narcisstic i know.

well, i just can't seem to make myself do things just like that like i used to. i have a feeling it might be a self-confidence problem, which i didn't lack before. maybe the anxiety from pot overuse has caused this...?

no shrinks, no meds...any advise? it's all a matter of the mind. i'm determined to sort it out without them

2 weeks ago
ah, also... i haven't smoked pot since april. i was smoking it everyday since summer, 2005. yeah, seriously... if i wasn't on it, it was because there was a draught. anyway, i got myself off it in 1 day instantly (a serious week of paranoia and depression saw to that).

so yeah, i can sort myself out without meds and shrink. i'm sure of it. i was strong before so i can be strong now. any methods/activities i can do through self-improvement?

Personally I found that getting up in the morning and forcing myself to get ready, small breakfast, then off to the gym while it's still dark outside..... starting slowly with a trainer.... stretching classes and eventually weight training classes got my mind and body feeling positive once again...... sounds perfect for you as well.
No one else is able to help us but our selves.
You just have to want it enough and you will succeed.