I have an addictive personality, how do I save myself?!

I have an addictive personality, how do I save myself?

I'm 20, and have an addictive personality. But I can stop for long periods of time. Examples: Used to get drunk ALL THE TIME, like 3+ times a week in HS & College. Have been to court ordered counseling (multiple MIPS, & now get drunk about once a week. I've gone through stretches of 1-2 months smoking pot nearly everyday (3-4 diff. stretches) now smoke on occasion. I luv Pot cuz ive never been in trouble from it, & im more in control then if im drunk. I did DXM (cough syrup) for 1-2 months about 3 times a week. haven't done it in a year+, and probably wont again. I bet on sports for 3 months straight when 18, havent in the last 2 years (occasional $10 bet with friends), i played poker online tons, but haven't since the gvmnt issue. I still luv poker, and see myself playing in person when I turn 21. Ive smoked lots a cigs (when drunk) but im not hooked. Ive done Cocaine & luv it but not hooked. Im a real estate broker & know im going to destroy myself but don't care. Advise please!

3 weeks ago
I've been to Therapy, both 1 on 1, and group therapy.. It doesn't help.. I've figured out how to tell people what they want to hear (i've had 10 different crappy minimum wage jobs, and been offered several more), and am learning how to manipulate people even more with my current career as a real estate broker.. I think the reason i do drugs is because I feel like their is nothing to look forward to, i live in the moment, & it seems to be what makes me happy.. I'm living in a town where I only have a couple friends.. & yes i know they are illegal, but i figure if its legal somewhere, might as well be legal here, so that doesnt bother me.

You do realize that most of the things that you are doing are illegal. You aren't old enough to drink and all the drugs you listed are illegal. As for your comment about never getting in trouble from it, getting in trouble is only a matter of time.

Sounds to me that you just skip from one thing to another and all are self destructive. You need to find out what is driving you to hurt yourself and become obessed. You will need to see a therapist to figure out what the core issue is and address it.

You are young and this type of behavior, unless treated will get worse not better. I wish you good luck and realizing that there is something going on is a big step. Stay on track and figure it out!

Good luck


UPDATE
Can't justify doing drugs and why not to get help, which is exactly what you are doing. You don't have a drug problem you have a telling the truth problem. How do you expect for therapy to work if you aren't honest? If you want to get better then do something about it.

As for "if it's legal somewhere it should be legal here" is a spoiled child speaking. The fact is that it ISN'T legal or socially acceptable in the real world to snort coke. And you sure will care when you end up in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs eating bolona sandwiches for a few months. Then kiss your real estate job bye-bye because no one will let a person who has been in trouble for drugs in a house alone.

Stop drinking cough medicine and get some help. Learn how to tell the truth and get real!!