I'm starting to get tired of life, tired of everything?!

I'm starting to get tired of life, tired of everything?

I'm just so fed up. I'm tired of being hurt. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do with myself. I've had many thoughts about suicide since I was 11 and now I'm about to be 20 and I just cant take it anymore. I just got out of a "relationship" and I just find out that the guy just wanted to use me but I cut it off before it got that far. I have a hard time trusting and I feel so betrayed by him. I have noone to lean on. I can't trust anyone, not even family or friends. I'm fed up with life and i just want to end the pain.I want to end it so bad and I don't know why. i've tried counseling and nothing seems to work for me. I jsut want to get away from it all and start over. I hate my life. I'm hating everything about me right now. I feel so worthless and stupid. What's wrong with me?

i know you hear this all the time, but what do you want for yourself? Time to be selfish and think about where you are going in life and where you want to be. You can control only 80% of the things that go on in life the rest is a roll of the dice. MY suggestion is to list where you would like to be, and what would make you happy. Romance, and what others think somewtimes linger on that 20% border, so don't put them down. Those things just happen! take this time out to reflect on yourself, and make a better life for yourself. Christ, you are only 20! what i would't give to be 20 and have a head start in life. Trust me suicide is never an option, it is surrendering, giving up, being completely ignorant of the world. I have had friends and family do it, and it solves nothing, it only distributes your pain and frustration to others. There is a lot to learn in the paragraph you wrote, and if you take the time to learn from them, it was never a waste of time.
Life can't always bee good tidings, rainbows and sunshine. otherwise we would take them for granted. Take a time out figure out what you want to do (maybe go to college in another place?) nothing better than education!
i know i'm long winded and all, but you are not worthless, just vulnerable, you are not stupid, just misinformed, there is nothing wrong with you, it's whats wrong with the world!

Take care