My mom really hurt my feelings tonight?!

My mom really hurt my feelings tonight?

She kept talking about how when my sister went to college she was really sad.....and that she couldn't wait to get rid of me...it really hurts my feelings because she has always favored my sister....she is the firstborn....she kept saying this over and over for like an hour...she kept saying that i called too much from college and that they had to take me grocery shopping and stuff like that..which honestly i recall walking to the grocery store(it wasn't long after that i got depressed at college dropped out ...was raped....and my parents kicked me out of the house and i was homeless) i still don't forgive them for that...they make me feel like i was nothing but a burden...honestly at the time i was still a kid i didn't really drink or do drugs or anything bad..i was going to school and working earning money..i was pretty normal....it still hurts to this day...i have talked to counselors before but the last one i saw was rude and told me to not worry about the past and move on...

3 weeks ago
i know i have my own life i am married with a kid...my husband is deployed to Iraq and i am really sad and lonely my family is all i have these days..or its just my daughter and i by ourselves

3 weeks ago
candace my nickname queen b was given to me by my husband while he was deployed in Iraq because he said i was his queen....and my first name begins with b...don't judge someone when you don't know them....

As difficult as it may seem to you, and as rude as the last counselor may have been, the advice is sound.

Come to terms with your past and move on. There will always be a part of yourself that will be hurt over what your parents have said and done to you, but there's nothing that you can do to change that part of your life. It has been, and it will always be, and it belongs where it happened --- in the past.

Your life is your own, now, and how you feel about it is completely up to you. Your parents were wrong, but you don't have to let them effect your life. You are your own person, and you have other feelings that aren't connected to your parents. Focus on those good feelings and allow them to strengthen you so that the harm that your parents have done to you won't harm you in your present-day and future life.

And if you haven't done so already, cut your parents out of your life, at least for now, at least until you can face them without flinching or ducking your head. They hurt you in the past. They don't have to hurt you now. You're a big girl, all grown up. You're not a child anymore. You can protect yourself.

So be strong, keep your head high, and don't be afraid to cry when you need to. But once you're done, get up, and keep moving forward.

Once you find that you can fully forgive your parents for what they've done, even if you never speak to them again as a result, then you know that it's completely behind you. Until then, this is what you must strive to do, because resentment (though it may be fully justified and well-deserved) only serve to hinder you and no one else.

EDIT: remember, you're not alone. Though it's nice to have a family to support you, they're not the only ones who can. Don't allow loneliness to cause you to depend on your family, especially when your family don't treat you like one of their own. You'd do better without them. Focus more on becoming your own person, and find yourself some good friends.

You're only a victim if you allow yourself to be.